True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment


Eave droppings

Eave droppings

Pass the Password

Like many others, I use LastPass – a website that keeps your passwords all in one place so you don’t have to remember them. The only password you have to remember is the one to LastPass. It’s impossible to remember a gazillion passwords, but one should be doable. That’s right – should be doable.

While traveling, I borrowed a laptop which meant I had to sign in to LastPass to access all of my websites because I didn’t know the password to any of them. Unfortunately, I didn’t know my password to LastPass either. Not a fatal disaster. Just like with other sites, you can reset LastPass by following instructions sent to your email. For most people this is an easy fix but for me not so much. You see, several months ago, I let LastPass generate a password for my email to make it more secure. As a result, I didn’t know my email password. So, I needed LastPass to access email and I needed email to access LastPass.

Luckily for me, LastPass was open on my regular computer at home and Stephen was able to help me out.

The lesson I learned is to make my LastPass and email passwords memorable – Password123 for both. As an added security measure, by publishing it here, if I forget again I can just come to this blog.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,


Maxine Passwords

Dress Like A Pirate

Celebrate Internatio Talk Like A Pirate Day with the whole family - September 19

Celebrate Talk Like A Pirate Day with the whole family – September 19

Talk Like a Pirate Day is on Monday, September 19. To make sure you’re prepared for this auspicious holiday, following are a few common phrases translated into pirate speak. Translations occur in italics where needed.

Ahoy! How be you today?

I had cackle fruit for breaksmartly. (eggs for breakfast)

Where would you like t’ go for what crawled out o’ t’ bung hole? (Where do you want to go for lunch?)

What you be hungry for?

Avast ye (pay attention)

Do it smartly (fast)

I need t’ use t’ head. (bathroom)

I want a grog in a black jack (alcohol in a big cup)

I’m three sheets to the wind from too much grog.

The capn’ ul feed me to the fish if I don’t finish me work.

You scallywag (bastard)

You son of a biscuit eater (bastard)

You bilge rat (bastard)

Blimey! (wow)

Yo ho ho! (yay)

Aye! (yes)

C’mere me buxom beauty [recommended for use only at home]

If you’d like to be more prepared, the founders of TLAPD prepared this short video to make anyone look like an experienced buccaneer.

In preparation, be sure to get your Pirate Name. Mine is Cap’n Antonia Sharkchum and Stephen’s is Pirate Darius the Terrible. Finally, dress for the part. You might even want to include the whole family.

The whole family is ready for ITLAPD

The whole family is ready for TLAPD

Don’t be a landlubber – grab yer hat and hornpipe and enjoy TLAPD. If anyone gives ya trouble, squint one eye, lean in close and say “What you be lookin’ at ya bilge rat?”

With plenty of time to prepare, yer day should be a success!

May the farce be with you – arr!

Your IFF,

Cap’n Antonia Sharkchum

Safety Tip

For added safety, travel in pears

For added safety, travel in pears

The Slipcover

We have an old sofa sleeper in a bedroom upstairs. It doesn’t get used often enough to replace but it looks worn. In order to freshen it up, we bought a slipcover. When the time came to put it on, I had the instructions. Straightforward, they consisted of one drawing.

Directions for fitting the slip cover

Directions for fitting the slip cover

Facing the front of the sofa, I was on the right, Stephen on the left. Reading aloud, I saw the label should be positioned to the back right side so I started first. Stephen then followed suite. As we were both stretching toward the front of the sofa, I said a few choice words about the poor quality of construction and how the #%&^ thing didn’t fit. Calmly, Stephen took the photo from my hands, looked at it, removed the cover, placed the label on my left side and miraculously the dang thing fit – like a glove.

I blame Stephen for this horrible experience because he should have known not to let me be in charge of anything requiring spatial relations. I hope he’s learned his lesson.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,


Skully's the only one allowed to sit on the new slipcover

Skully’s the only one allowed to sit on the new slipcover


Little Known Salmonella

Salmonella - Cinderella's distant cousin

Salmonella – Cinderella’s distant cousin

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