True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

Holiday Feast

Do you recognize anyone in your family?

Happy Holidays!

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

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My Sister Learns New Words

Last spring, my sister retired from teaching second graders. Needless to say, she has a lot to learn when it comes to communicating with adults. A few months ago, we had the following text exchange. The gray text is from Diana and the blue is mine. The picture was from her.

Just when I thought we had everything figured out, a few months later, this was our exchange. Again, Diana starts it out.

I can tell after this that my MOFO sister has no FOMO!

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

Catching Butterflies


It’s easier to catch butterflies in cold weather because they are less likely to melt

The Intruder

The other day going into my house, I was startled by a giant spider.

The Intruder

It was stalking me Р sitting on the side of the door casing between the garage door opener and the door handle.

Uncontrolled screaming (on my part) didn’t scare it away so I was faced with a decision. Back away slowly and leave until Stephen returned home from work (only about 6 hours) or find a way into the house, barricading myself inside hoping the intruder wouldn’t find a way in.

I decided to go in the house. Like an olympic athlete getting ready to run a race, I took a few breaths, pressed the button, grabbed the door handle, jumped inside and slammed and locked the door screaming the entire time. Heaving, I slowly calmed myself and the dogs down. Apparently, they didn’t like my screaming.

After I calmed them down

As my mind began to clear, I had a horrifying thought. I had to deal with the intruder. Otherwise it might disappear and attack me at anytime from anywhere. I could never enter the garage again – no place would be safe.

This could be me if I let the intruder live

It was imperative that I deal with the situation quickly using deadly force. Armed with a can of raid, I yanked the door open, jumped into the garage, aimed and fired. The intruder fell and ran. Although I lost site of him, he was mortally wounded. The only prudent move was to stay in the house the rest of the day.

When Stephen got home, he assured me that the intruder was expired and I could safely enter the garage. I felt like an invincible superhero that day, my bravery unmatched, but I never want to test my superpowers again.

This is me – strong and invincible, battling scary spiders

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

Dog Halloween Poem

As dusk arrives on Halloween,

the puppies run, the kiddies scream

with delight.

They’ve never seen

these costumes on the dogs.

Princess,

pirates,

skeleton,

yellow submarine,

quarterbark & cheerleader,

cowboy dressed in jeans.

Buns with a real dog inside,

a skunk that’s safe – no need to hide

A family photo filled with pride,

 

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

 

 

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