True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment


Crocs vs. Cats

Do you stay awake at night wondering whether Crocs (the shoe, not the animal) are similar to cats in that they always land on their feet? After thorough, scientific, one trial testing, the answer is about the be revealed with the help of science assistant, Emmett.

As shown in the video, Crocs and cats both share the common characteristic of landing upright. However, the left is consistently confident whereas the right needs a little nudge.

Sleep well tonight knowing one of the great mysteries of life has finally been solved.

Sweet dreams and may the farce be with you.

Your IFF,


(No animals or Crocs were harmed during the making of this video.)

Deadliest Windigo

The only creature deadlier than the Windigo is the Breaking-Wind-igo

Hold The BS

Prologue: I wrote this post before I broke my ankle. The message presented below applies in both active and sedentary conditions.

Emmett, our Italian Greyhound, is young and high energy. As I mentioned in a previous post, I have suspected that he might be trying to kill me. I don’t think that anymore since we obtained a new product called a Treat Clincher by BarkerFun. Designed to hold bully sticks (BS) and other chews, this device has turned Emmett’s thoughts from murder to pure chewing enjoyment.

Every morning, I attend a live streamed exercise class. Before it starts, I engage in a long ritual to prepare Emmett for my workout. First I crumble sprinkles of soft treats onto a snuffle mat. Emmett digs through the mat to find the goodies.

Snuffle Mat

Next, I fill his bobble ball with dog food. He knocks the ball releasing treats as it rocks back and forth.

Bobble Ball

Finally, I fill five treat balls that dispense treats as Emmett rolls them around.

Treat balls

I do all of this to keep Emmett occupied while I’m exercising. Each item must last through two songs in order to keep him busy through most of my class. Unfortunately, most toys only last as long as one song.

Toys are fun but short lived

As a result, Emmett reminds me several times during class that he’s owed another toy.

The photo is blurry because I’m trying to exercise.

However, everything changed once he got a Treat Clincher.

Treat Clincher by

The Treat Clincher is an ingenious device by BarkerFun that holds dog treats while the dog chews on them. It’s beautifully designed to protect furniture while holding the treat securely in place. So far, we’ve only used bully sticks but it can hold just about any type of chew. It takes Emmett hours to eat a bully stick which is much longer than my exercise class. It tires him out, too.

Emmett after a Treat Clincher workout

In the short time we’ve had the Treat Clincher, we’ve discovered other benefits as well. Emmett, a digger and a chewer, mistook the braces under my desk for a chew toy. Since getting the Treat Clincher, he hasn’t given my desk a second glance.

Emmett’s handiwork under my desk

Emmett loves to eat all of his bully stick. The last bite is usually bigger than he should ingest, so he ends up throwing it up in the middle of the night. Some dogs have had to get medical treatment from swallowing large treats. The Treat Clincher prevents that from happening because the last bit of treat is held by the device.

Imagine a large dog treat inside your dog

All in all, the Treat Clincher has proven to be a valuable addition to our home. It frees up our time and keeps Emmett busy and happy by holding the BS (bully stick). And that’s no BS.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,


Ear Buds

I love Spring when the ears start to bud

Broken Ankle

I’ve been out of touch because on April 6 I broke my ankle. I had surgery April 14 to repair the damage. Of course it was my left ankle where aliens placed the implant during my abduction. Here’s what I’ve learned so far.

The ER treats brankles (BRoken ANKLES).

The ER doesn’t do this

When the surgical nurse asks if you have any skin conditions, wrinkles don’t count.

Apparently this is normal

When I got my third bracelet, I told the nurses that I felt like a rapper. They replied that the bracelets weren’t made of gold but I said mine are much more expensive.

My rapper bracelets

It’s odd that the surgical team continues to ask the heavily drugged patient which ankle is broken. If they can’t tell from the splint, maybe they’re in the wrong profession.

Should be obvious

After surgery you don’t get a sucker. Instead you get a really cool (useless) machine that measures your breathing.

I forgot to ask my medical team to autograph this

The best way to protect a broken ankle from three little dogs is to cover it with a box.

Velcro dog protection

Pain does not burn calories, so any thoughts of breaking a bone as an extreme weight loss measure are futile.

Shower stools come with instructions.

Who knew a stool could be so complicated?

I never planned to break my ankle but now that I have, I’ve added it to my bucket list so I won’t do it again.

When you’re broken and vulnerable, the value of compassion and kindness are immeasurable. My deepest gratitude go to all the medical professionals who helped me from the three funny, warm fireman to the ER, orthopedic and surgical staffs. The support of friends and family near and far are just as important in keeping spirits high – a key component of healing. My brankle and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,


Gatored Communities

Proof that Gatored Communities aren’t always safe

Happy Easter 2021

Rabbit Ears

Change can be hard

A while back I wrote a post about the Squatty Potty – a bathroom stool that eases elimination. Their advertising campaign caught my eye because it was funny and inventive. The image of a Unicorn pooping ice cream is not only memorable, it makes ice cream less appetizing. The company has been quite successful since they began and this follow-up video highlighting other mythical creatures reminds us why.

The Squatty Potty is number one because they ease making number two.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,


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