True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

Nip Slips

Nips Lips

Nips Lips

“It’s bad news.”

Unfortunate words to be uttered by a respected theoretical physicist but this is exactly what Dr. Joseph Lykken said to reporters in Boston when discussing the fate of the universe.

Sure, we’ve heard it before. Reverend Harold Camping wrongly predicted the end of the world, as did the Mayans. But how can we ignore a renowned scientist?

Lykken declared the universe to be unstable:

“At some point billions of years from now it’s all going to get wiped out; tens of billions of years from now, there’ll be a catastrophe.”

Apparently, an alternate universe is going to expand and wipe us out in the blink of an eye.

When I heard this, I was shocked. I couldn’t believe how differently we define unstable. I consider a few billion years to be quite secure.

In the long run, it’s a moot point anyway.

Earth’s predicted to be long gone before the universe collapses. The sun’s expected to burn out in 4.5 billion years, expanding and engulfing earth in the process. Whew – what a relief!

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

In 4.5 billion years, we could end up like the dinosaurs!

In 4.5 billion years, we could end up like the dinosaurs!

Fashion Faux Pas

Fashion Faux Paws

Fashion Faux Paws

Buying A New Bed

Buying a new bed is awkward. It’s also a huge expense and a big commitment. A bed is designed to last years and you spend more than a third of your life in it. If it isn’t comfortable, you’ll experience aches and pains, difficulty walking, and an unpleasant disposition.

I know because I’ve been sleeping in an uncomfortable bed for two years and just went through the unnatural experience of testing new beds in a public setting.

Anytime we’ve ever shopped for furniture or a car, Stephen falls in love with whatever he’s sitting on or in. When it came to bed shopping, we reversed roles. Every time I laid down, it felt good.

Between my inability to distinguish a good bed from a bad coupled with my discomfort in laying down in public, I made Stephen take the role of Goldilocks. He tried beds first directing me to the ones that felt just right. Even then, they all kind of felt the same.

It’s hard to tell in a few minutes what something’s going to feel like for 8 hours, so I was surprised that they asked us to leave when we brought sheets and started making the bed right before closing time. They reminded us that if our first choice didn’t work out we could pay a modest fee to exchange it for a new bed that we would be stuck with for the next 10 years. No pressure.

After much duress we eventually we selected a bed. This was in spite of all those people who laughed and photographed us while we were trying to sleep… Stephen in that stupid bunny suit.

Stephen took bed shopping seriously... which caused everyone else to NOT be serious

Stephen took bed shopping seriously… which caused everyone else to NOT be serious

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

Sex and Violence

Sax and violins... What's the big deal?

Sax and violins… What’s the big deal?

Following are some of my favorite April Fools Day pranks.

Each can is guaranteed to have at least one tail

Each can is guaranteed to have at least one tail

Cottonelle introduces left handed toilet paper. It's about time!

Cottonelle introduces left handed toilet paper. It’s about time!

The muscle dress shirt from Hugh and Crye

The muscle dress shirt from Hugh and Crye

The Twelfie Stick by Twitter  tweets pictures automatically

The Twelfie Stick by Twitter tweets pictures automatically

This backward version of Google reportedly produced backward search results

This backward version of Google reportedly produced backward search results

Jimmy John's announces super fast delivery via drone

Jimmy John’s announces super fast delivery via drone

Sheet Hack makeup by Sephora makes getting ready in the morning a breeze

Sheet Hack makeup by Sephora makes getting ready in the morning a breeze

T-Mobile announces their pet program

Moshi introduces a new iPhone case

Hope you enjoyed these as much as I did!

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

Easter Bunny

Every bunny has his day. Now it's the Easter Bunny's turn.

Every bunny has his day. Now it’s the Easter Bunny’s turn.

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