True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

The Many Faces of Santa

In October of 2018, I saw the most horrifying Halloween decoration I’d ever seen.

Santa is one of the Halloween decorations!

After mentioning what I witnessed, one of my friends informed me that Santa stays in place all year round. So, I started paying attention and this is what I found.

Santa moonlighting as the Easter Bunny

It didn’t stop there.

Santa imitating a rubber ducky for rainy season

While some of the outfits were seasonal,

Independence Day Santa

others didn’t seem to coincide with any particular event.

Crappy Santa

And others just seemed wrong.

Santa should never wear coconuts and a grass skirt. At least not in public.

When Halloween finally rolled around again, this time Santa was in costume.

Friday the 13th Santa

And if that wasn’t scary enough, they did this!

Scary clown monk Santa

Now that it’s Christmas time again, Santa’s back to normal.

But I have to say after watching him during the past year, there’s nothing normal about this Santa.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

Twerking Santa

Some things do not belong together

Holiday Spirits

Yesterday I gathered pictures of the most interesting holiday spirits I could find. My question for you is: “Are you in holiday spirits or are holiday spirits in you?”

You have to wear an ugly sweater when you drink this

First time I’ve seen Santa’s sleigh pulled by crocodiles

One would have to be delerius to see an elephant skating

Wow! Santa is ripped! Who knew THAT was under his red suit.

You can drink this even if you’ve been good

But if you’ve been bad, you get this

And if you’ve been VERY bad, you get this

If you need help getting into the holiday spirit maybe you need some holiday spirits. This is a great place to start.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

Penguins and Christmas Tree

What are those penguins doing to the tree?

2019 Gift Ideas

It’s the time of year when shopping is at a frenzy – people looking for perfect gifts. If you’re anything like me, you have a few who are nearly impossible to buy for. Hopefully my annual list of favorite gift ideas will help you out.

1. Selfie Toaster – Anyone’s face can be added to this toaster. If your recipient doesn’t want to look at their own mug everyday, maybe they would like to see yours!

2. Screaming Goat – If you know someone who frequently screams or wants to scream, this is the perfect gift. They can save their own voice and let the goat do the screaming for them. Buy multiple goats for a one of a kind concert.

3. Tin Foil Hat for Cats – Don’t take a chance that radio waves are controlling your cat’s mind. Protect them with their own tin foil hat. Their behavior is guaranteed to change when you make them wear this.

4. People of Walmart Coloring Book – Definitely for adults. This little gem will relieve stress and produce hours of laughter – or at least head shaking.

5. Mousterpieces – This is the ultimate in weird (and creepy) but it’s unlikely the person on your list will have one. They can be custom-made to your unique specifications. (They are real mice, you know. Eeww!)

6. Explicit Coasters – These coasters provide a direct message to guests. The actual coasters are not censored.

7. Ben & Jerry Ice Cream Lock – Every serious ice cream lover should have one of these. The lock will protect their favorite ice cream from being eaten by someone else. (If I wanted ice cream that was locked, I would turn the tub upside down and cut the bottom off. The developers didn’t think of that!)

8. Chicken Socks – I would have a pair of these except I don’t really have anyplace to wear them.

 9. Pedal-Less Bike  – I know – why don’t they just walk? However, this is a unique gift that very few people are likely to own.

10. Long Arm Smartphone Dock – Know someone who falls asleep looking at their phone? Has dropped it on their face? Or suffers from tired arms? This is the gift for them. With the flashlight app, it can also be used as a reading light for their favorite book.

I hope these ideas help with your holiday shopping. Good luck!

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

Dysfunctional Holiday

May you have a wonderfully dysfunctional holiday!

Photo from nobleworkscards dot com

I’m not a cook. However, there was a time when I attempted to prepare Thanksgiving dinner. My friend, Jeff, was spending Thanksgiving alone. Since Stephen and I were also without family, we invited him to spend the holiday with us. Such an invitation requires the offering of food, therefore I decided to cook a turkey with potatoes and stuffing – the whole nine yards.

I put the turkey in the oven early Thanksgiving morning. Stephen, Jeff and I passed the time playing games. Unfortunately, our scenario transpired much the same as this scene from the movie The Accidental Tourist.

After a few hours, we all noticed there was no smell coming from the kitchen. Sadly, I had set the oven to 200 degrees. To ensure our continued existence, we had a memorable vegetarian meal of potatoes and stuffing. We now follow an annual tradition of eating out.

Wishing you a warm and healthy Thanksgiving.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

Yep, that’s me – sans the dinner rolls

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