True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

The Dawn of Curiosity

I love the pictures NASA has been sharing since launching the Rover Curiosity to Mars and Dawn Spacecraft to the dwarf planet Ceres.

Being transported to other worlds fuels the thirst for information about the big question of whether we are alone in the universe.

The most famous “alien” sighting took place in Roswell, New Mexico. Of course the supposed space ship was later debunked as being a simple weather balloon.

Sightings of mysterious lights in the sky have also been exposed as flares, reflections or experimental aircraft.

Given our history, it’s no surprise that the latest findings on Mars and Ceres are reigniting our wonder of what – or who – is out there.

Take a look at recent NASA photos.

Pyramid on Mars

Pyramid on Mars

The Mars pyramid is estimated to be the size of a car. Some people wonder whether more of the structure is buried under the dirt.

Pyramid on Ceres

Pyramid on Ceres

The Ceres pyramid is thought to be three miles high. We’ll know more when Dawn get’s closer to the planet.

The current theory is that both off-world pyramids were created by wind.

My friend Vivian visited Egypt and she’s adamant that Earth pyramids were not formed by wind (or aliens).

Pyramid on Earth

Pyramid on Earth

As if the pyramids weren’t enough to get our neurons sparking, scientists have been puzzling over a series of unexplained lights in a crater on Ceres.

Bright spots on Ceres

Bright spots on Ceres

Of course they aren’t from a city or spaceship, that explanation is just too far fetched. The thought is they may be from reflective ice or salt.

I suspect they’re reflections from weather balloons that measured the force of the wind that created that perfectly formed pyramid. What do you think?

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF and Psy-Ficologist,

Pam

Devil Incarnate

Devil Incarnitas

Devil in carnitas = hot tacos!

I recently traveled to visit my friend, Vivian, to help her organize some things in her house.

I volunteered to go through the kitchen because it was a big job (nearly a whole day) and I could do the work without supervision, freeing Vivian to pursue other endeavors.

Before - when the cupboards were full

Before – when the cupboards were full

As I was sorting through the cupboards, I threw out expired items. I think most people find such items periodically, but for Vivian almost everything had to be tossed.

Once finished, I showed Vivian my handiwork so she could see that most items would have to be replaced.

There's almost nothing left

There’s almost nothing left

A few weeks later when we were talking, Vivian told me that she had come down with a severe stomach flu. She went into her kitchen looking for chicken soup, hoping the mild liquid would make her feel better. To her chagrin, her cupboards were bare.

She concluded it was my fault that she couldn’t find anything to eat because I threw everything away.

I reminded her that I only tossed expired items – that she was lucky. If it hadn’t been for me, she would have eaten bad soup that would have exacerbated her already distressed gut. She didn’t sound convinced.

Now that I think about it, maybe it wasn’t an accident when she almost ran over me with her car on one of our trips to the dumpster with the expired food.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

Bulldozer

Dozing bull can't stay awake

Dozing bull can’t stay awake

Photo from Flickr

Not everyone is cutout to work for someone else. If you are one of those people but are struggling with business ideas, perhaps these unusual entrepreneurs will inspire you.

  1. Golden tickets to heaven

A Florida couple sold hundreds of golden tickets to heaven for $99.99 per ticket – guaranteed to get you through the pearly gates. Unfortunately, they told buyers the tickets were made of solid gold when, in reality, they were a piece of wood painted gold – which got them arrested.

The couple stands by their claim that the tickets are gold. They say that Jesus gave them the tickets behind the KFC so they could earn enough money to go to outer space. Their alien friend, Stevie, promised to take them on his flying saucer to his planet which is made of crack cocaine. The couple believe Jesus set them up and it’s he who should be arrested.

  1. Time travel vacations

Zach Zeal, another Florida entrepreneur, is selling time travel vacations using his homemade time machine. He can take you wherever you want to go although he admits the system doesn’t always comply.

In order to obtain the $5,000 vacation, you must be willing to spend 24-36 hours in Mr. Zeal’s home. He places a small paper tab on your tongue (he claims is not acid) and then shoots a laser beam into your face. After which you may, or may not, be taken to your time of choice.

  1. Selling your soul to the devil

If you’ve ever thought about selling your soul to the devil to have a better life on earth, you should probably first read Rex Touth’s book How to Negotiate Unholy Contracts. He offers step by step instructions on how to summon the devil and then get the best deal possible. He also advises clients to demand the life-extension clause which guarantees 300 years of a youthful existence.

  1. Snuggles and hugs

If all this nonsense is too much, you can purchase snuggles and hugs. Jackie Samuel, from Rochester, New York believes in the magic of the human touch so she sells cuddles of 45, 60 or 90 minutes. The starting cost is around $50.

These are all certainly unique ideas. Feeling inspired?

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

If you can find the right audience, anything will sell

If you can find the right audience, anything will sell

Boot Camp

Nobody but us boots here

Nobody but us boots here

Cat-pocalypse

I had the good fortune to spend a few weeks with my sister, her husband and their cat – Garfield.

This is Garfield

This is Garfield

I’ve never had a cat but Garfy and I became fast friends. He quickly trained me to give him treats, play, and scratch him when he was ready. Garfy didn’t follow me like my dogs, but he convinced me to follow him so it kind of had the same result.

I was relieved when he chose not to sleep with me because I’ve heard horror stories of cats trying smother their owners during the night by lying on their face. I’ve heard other terrifying stories, too – like the cat that attacked its family for no obvious reason. Experts had to come in to help the family deal with the crisis.

It’s usually easy to tell what dogs are thinking. Not so much with cats. I find them oddly mysterious.

What is he thinking?

What is he thinking?

Other than Cujo, dogs are basically benign. Cats, however, have a reputation for being unpredictable and holding their intentions close to the vest.

Because of my dogs, birds, and doggie door, I will likely never live with a cat. After watching the attached video and seeing what they can do, I’m relieved. I worry about my sister and her husband though…

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

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