True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

Santa’s Favorite Reindeer

Photo credit: NobleWorks Cards


Our First Christmas With Max

We adopted Max the end of March, a beautiful four year old Italian Greyhound. He’s a southern boy from Kentucky and has not adapted well to the cold weather. Since he’s from the south, he’s never had to wear clothes to keep warm, so every time we dress him, he refuses to move. Therefore, it was relatively easy to get these pictures of Max dressed up for the holidays. Enjoy – I guarantee Max didn’t!

This is how Santa would look if he was an Italian Greyhound

With a beard…

Max is secure enough in his masculinity to don a Christmas tree outfit that looks like a dress

Don’t worry Max, we won’t ever mount your head.

A bunny sweater that looks suspiciously like a deer.

Santa’s little helper.

I would like to thank Max for his sacrifice. He was (and is) a good boy.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,



Visions of Sugar Plums

It took years for her therapist to get that vision out of Edna’s head

Photo credit: NobleWorks Cards

With Good Friday and Cyber Monday behind us, if you’re still looking for gifts, here are ten of my favorites. All are affordable at less than $30.

1. Game of Thrones Toilet Decal – the perfect addition to the porcelain throne.

GOT Toilet Decal (From ebay)

2. Inflatable Unicorn Horn for Cats – you can make your cat as happy as the one in the picture.

Inflatable Unicorn Horn for Cats (from Jet)

3. Cheesus Christ Cheese Grater – for those who celebrate the true meaning of Christmas.

Cheesus Christ Cheese Grater (From Amazon)

4. Personalized Face Luggage – never lose your suitcase again and scare small children in the process.

Personalized Face Luggage (From thisiswhyimbroke)

5. Hands-Free Umbrella – goofy looking but very practical. I would wear this.

Hands Free Umbrella (From Amazon)

6. Offensive Business Cards – perfect for awkward occasions.

Offensive Business Cards (From etsy)

7. Star Wars Light Switch Cover – for those who need help distinguishing between the Light and Dark sides.

Star Wars Light Switch Cover (From Amazon)

8. Middle Finger Mug – I’ve always liked finding a surprise design at the bottom of a cup or bowl but I’ve never had one give me the finger!

Middle Finger Mug (From thisiswhyimbroke)

9. Poop soap – for bathroom use only. Great for children and man babies.

Poop Soap (From shutupandtakemymoney)

10. The Official BS Button – useful any place, any time. The gift that keeps on giving.

Official BS Button (from Amazon)

As always, I hope these ideas will help you find the perfect gift for that hard-to-buy person on your list. Happy shopping!

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,












Christmas Wreath

Melvin loved the way the wreath scratched his back on the way inside. The dog felt the same way.

Photo credit: NobleWorks Cards

No App-etite

I was recently disappointed by my favorite sandwich shop – let’s call them Got Deli. As a member of their loyalty program “Quirks”, I receive emails announcing deals, their latest being a BOGO offer. When the time came, I excitedly entered the store with my email in hand, proudly showing it to the sandwich maker. Hesitating, she handed my email to another employee. Here was our exchange:

Got Deli: You need the Quirks app to redeem your free sandwich.

Pam: I don’t have the app.

Got Deli: You need the app to redeem your free sandwich.

Pam: So you’re telling me this email is worthless.

Got Deli: No, it’s not worthless, you just need the app to redeem your sandwich.

Feeling put out, I left without buying anything. Later, I wrote Got Deli’s customer service. Here’s what I said:

Hey, Got Deli. You are my favorite sandwich shop but your Quirks program really let me down. Today I went into one of your stores to redeem a free sandwich. I had an email telling me about the promotion but was told that I needed the app to redeem the coupon. I don’t have the app so I left empty handed. It sucked.

They responded:

Thank you for reaching out to Got Deli. We are so sorry for disappointing you! We’ve added a free sandwich to your Got Deli Quirks account. Please enjoy it within the next year at any of our shops.

I answered back:

Thanks for the coupon – but do I need the app to redeem it? If so, we’re back to the original problem…I don’t have the app.

The final exchange:

This perk can be redeemed through the Got Deli Quirks mobile app. If you have any questions about this, please feel free to ask!

After all was said and done, I lost my app-etite.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,


Me leaving the store empty handed


I tripped a fan and I liked it

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