St. Nicholas Rhapsody

(To be sung to the corresponding verses of Bohemian Rhapsody)

I see a heavy silhouetto of a man

A red suite, a white beard, will you come down my chimney

Magic reindeer flying, truly it’s exciting me

Donner, Comet, Cupid, Prancer, Dancer, Dasher, Blitzen, Vixen, Rednose Rudolph your nose shines so very bright

(I am a good boy, Santa Claus loves me)

He is a good boy from a good family

Please bring him gifts on this bright Christmas day

Flying high, flying low, you put on a show

Old St. Nick! Whoa! You know we love you so

(Love you so) Old St. Nick! You know we love you so

(Love you so) Old St. Nick! You know we love you so

(Love you so) You know we love you so

(Love you so) You know we love you so

(Love you so) Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho

(Oh St. Nicholas, St. Nicholas) St. Nicholas, love you so

St. Nicholas has a present put aside for me, for me, for me

Merry Christmas and May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

 

 

 

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Icy Rhapsody

Image from allthebestcards dot com

12 Weird and Gross Holiday Gifts

If you think you’ve finished your holiday shopping, these gifts might change your mind. So if you don’t want to be tempted, stop reading now! All are less than $30 and are available from Amazon except where noted.

1. Belly decorated fanny pack – nothing says I love you like a big, hairy belly.

Beer Belly Waist Pocket

2. Shower Beer Caddy – great companion gift for the Belly fanny pack

Also great for wine

3. Creepy Cage Coffee Mug – reserve this gift for someone you don’t like.

Cage Mug – Eewww!!

4. Licki Your Cat Brush – and you thought that crazy cat person couldn’t get any stranger…

Licki Your Cat Brush for crazy people

5. Star Trek Garden Gnomes – make the nerds on your list happy.

Star Trek Gnomes (from Think Geek)

6. Instant Underpants – I guess wet underpants are better than no underpants at all?

Instant Underpants – In case of emergency

7. Llamacorn t-shirt – for that “special” person on your list.

Goodie Two Sleeves – Cat Rides Llamacorn

8. Bathroom Guestbook – personally, I wouldn’t want to touch this!

Bathroom Guest Book (uh, no)

9. Cool spider mug – for someone with arachnophilia not arachnophobia

Creature Cup Spider Mug

10. Mr. Sniffles Egg Separator – I don’t find this very appetizing

Mr. Sniffles dribbles your egg

11. Pop It Pal – I warned you that some of these gifts were gross!

The Official Pimple Popping Toy with Refillable Pimple Pus (Peach)

12. Beard Christmas Ornaments – Can’t…stop…laughing…

Christmas Beard Ornaments – Why?!?

If none of these gifts strike your fancy, I hope they at least gave you a good laugh.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Weird Relative

I’m fairly certain they’re talking about me

Image from nobleworkscards dot com

Don’t Do This While Shopping

Although Ellen’s advice is geared toward holiday shopping, it applies year-round. So even if you’ve finished buying holiday gifts, there are still lessons to be learned.

Think of me when you watch the third example. The guy in the video appeared to walk away unscathed – I ended up with a broken nose.

Finally, watch for the bonus tip at the end regarding how you can avoid traumatizing a child at Christmas.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

Happy Thanksgiving 2018

Thanksgiving Seating Strategy by Ellen

Following is a guide to help you establish the seating arrangement for Thanksgiving, or any holiday dinner. Ellen’s final suggestion is brilliant.

Wishing all my USA readers a happy Thanksgiving filled with laughter.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam