True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

Faster Than A Speeding Bullet

There’s a seven mile drive from the Carlsbad Caverns park entrance to the visitor center with electronic signs along the way showing your speed.

After passing several such signs, Stephen was reminded of a story from his childhood. Stephen, about age 8 and his brother, age 6, were in the backseat of the car making a lot of noise. His dad, who was driving, pulled the car to the side of the road and told the boys they needed to burn some energy. He instructed them to get out of the car, hold onto a door handle and they would see how fast the boys could run. Stephen claims he got up to 25 mph.

With this in mind, Stephen wanted to see if he could run faster than he did as a kid. We pulled the car to the side of the road and Stephen ran toward the sign. Although the meter didn’t pick him up, I’m sure he was doing at least 50.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

 

Advertisements

Valentine’s Day 2019

 

Image from NobleWorks Cards dot com

The Power of Positive Hexting

Stephen recently had an invasive medical procedure to check for a possible serious illness. The test showed that he’s perfectly fine, but we didn’t know it at the time. We had to go to a hospital and I was a nervous wreck.

We waited in his room for 30 minutes when the nurse finally came to begin preparations. At that point, I was asked to leave. To curb my anxiety, I turned to humorous texting (i.e., hexting). Here’s the exchange that took place in the waiting room. My texts are in green.

I’m incredibly thankful the test confirmed that Stephen’s in perfect health. Sadly for him, the nurse wanted time alone to insert an IV. And for me, I’m still waiting for the fireman.

In my head, I saw him standing in the elevator. When the doors opened, he was young, tall, muscular and shirtless, wearing his fireman pants with the suspenders hanging down. He shook his dark hair out of his eyes and smiled at me with cute, deep dimples and straight, white teeth. He came toward me in slow motion, with an invisible fan blowing his hair. Using his muscular hands and arms, he eliminated the knots from my neck and shoulders.

Then he leaned over, looked at me with his piercing blue eyes and whispered in my ear that he was leaving to clean my house. He promised to have a hot meal waiting and asked if there was anything in particular I wanted for the menu. As he got on the elevator, he smiled and said everything was going to be okay. He was right.

May good health and the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

Lab Testing

Although Larry and Daryl loved the challenge of math, tests elicited a primal fear. However, they looked forward to the treat afterwards.

The Shrining

The last time I fell I hit my head and ended up with a bruise on the outside of my eye. Following is my conversation with Stephen about my injury. He didn’t immediately realize the topic under discussion.

Pam: Wow! I’m excited – it looks like I’ve got a shiner. It’s on the outside – an outer shiner.

 

Stephen: The Shining? Did you say you have The Shining? Outside?

My eye didn’t look like Jack Nicholson outside in The Shining.

Pam: No. I’m talking about my eye – I’ve got an awesome bruise on the outside of my eye. You know, one of those things with a little hat.

Nor was my bruise wearing a little hat.

Stephen: You mean a Shriner? You’ve got a Shriner outside? Why?

Pam: Look at me.

Stephen: Oh, okay. I get it now. But a Shriner?

I think I’m going to have to find a little hat for my eye just to preserve my dignity.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

 

 

 

 

Groundhog Day

Fair warning

 

Image from Nobleworks Cards dot com

I’ve admitted in the past to sleeping with dogs.

We used to have a queen size bed but when our first Italian Greyhound started sleeping with us, the bed became too small so we upgraded to a king.┬áMuch to our surprise, we still didn’t have enough room but our dog was more comfortable.

No bed would be big enough

The problem is this.

There’s one critical component missing from this photo – her front legs stretch out nearly as long as her back legs. It wouldn’t be a problem if she slept the same direction as us, but she sleeps sideways so she can touch us both. As the night progresses, she gets longer, pushes harder and Stephen and I end up with a few inches on each side of the bed.

Our side is much smaller

Even after claiming our own piece of the bed, there’s no guarantee of keeping that space all night.

We put up with the discomfort because we love our dogs and would do anything for them. Well, just about anything. We haven’t done this… yet.

Of course, anything’s possible!

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

 

 

%d bloggers like this: