Usually I put a lot of thought into things that are important in my life. Take when I started graduate school. I left North Dakota and moved to the deep south (relatively speaking) in Ames, Iowa. I lived in student housing and discovered something I had never seen before – little brown bugs. When I found out that they were roaches and there were hundreds living in the apartment (far outnumbering the humans who lived there), I freaked out.
To overcome (no, to manage) my fear I decided to undergo desensitization therapy using self-hypnosis. The therapist required me to collect a few dead roaches for use in therapy (my roommates got them for me). I will never forget “The Day Of The Dead Roaches”. I was hypnotized (in a state of deep relaxation) and the therapist told me he was going to touch my skin with the dead roaches. The idea was to replace the association of fear with relaxation. What I didn’t know was that he was actually using dead flowers, not dead bugs.
The therapy definitely helped because I “graduated”. The bugs you see in the picture below are made from fence wire and baggies. Stephen made two roaches in celebration of my “graduation”. One for me and one for my therapist.
My decision to be a writer (aka my “Write Choice”) wasn’t nearly as systematic as the process I used to manage my fear of roaches. I didn’t plan to be a writer. In fact, my plan was to work in Human Resources for the rest of my career. After being unemployed for a while, I realized that maybe I didn’t have to continue in a profession where a significant part of my job was telling other people they were losing theirs.
I’m still experiencing a bit of a split personality between HR and writing in my quest to move from terminator to x-terminator. I’m a little freaked out about the unknown (like the roaches in the walls) but I’ve got a plan. One of the things I’m doing while researching in book stores is attempting to hypnotize people to get them to buy my book once it is published. So far, they just seem really relaxed.
May the farce be with you!
How do you make big decisions in your life? Are you a thinker and planner or more impulsive?