Have you ever had a problem with pest control? I have.
Several years ago, we called a pest control expert to remove wasps that were building a hive in our crawl space. We heard noise through the floor and knew there was a problem. Apparently it only took a few days for the wasps to build a hive that was about three feet square. Creepy! Ever since that experience, we’ve had the outside of our house sprayed annually as a preventive measure.
Most people would agree that it’s not atypical to have unwanted pests in your house from time to time. What is odd, however, is to have a sinkhole.
A few weeks ago, a woman in Guatemala City heard an explosion and rushed outside to see what happened. Much to her surprise the noise came from inside her house. She found a sinkhole under her bed – three feet wide and 40 feet deep (picture below). As far as I know, this is the first one to appear inside someone’s home.
Supposedly sinkholes are natural depressions in the earth caused by rain. They can range in size from a few feet to hundreds of acres wide and can go as deep as 100 feet. Thank goodness the sinkhole in Guatemala City was small.
I must say that when pests invade the home, it becomes personal. The same holds true for sinkholes.
Taking this as a unique opportunity and largely untapped market, I’ve come up with a business venture to detect and treat unwanted sinkholes.
I call this new company Business Licensed SinkHole Tomography (BLSHT™) and it is based on a proprietary patent-pending sinkhole detector device.
For a reasonable fee BLSHT™ will scan your home to determine the likelihood of the sudden appearance of sinkholes. Rates are based on the size of the area that needs to be scanned.
BLSHT™ recommends that you sign up for monthly scans as sinkholes can appear even if they were not previously detected. A discount will be offered to the first 50 customers who sign up for the monthly plan.
If BLSHT™ detects a high probability of sinkholes appearing, you will be notified in writing. At this time there is no known way of stopping sinkholes but you will receive a discount on treatment if one actually surfaces.
If you prefer not to be proactive, BLSHT™ will still plug your unwanted sinkholes, but the discount only applies to BLSHT™ detection customers who subscribe to the monthly plan.
If you are interested in subscribing to the BLSHT™ detection service, please let me know as soon as possible. BLSHT™ is the only operational sinkhole company at this time and space is limited.
May the farce be with you!
Your IFF and Psy-ficologist,