The next time you think you’re having a bad day, be glad you’re not Bigfoot. Here’s a creature that gets absolutely no respect and whose failure to exist could result in his demise.
At the 2012 annual Bigfoot Conference, once again they lacked proof that Bigfoot exists. You’d think there wouldn’t be a need for a conference without hard evidence. What can they talk about year after year? I suppose they discuss theories and hypotheses such as what Bigfoot eats, where he sleeps, where he goes to the bathroom, his mating and social habits, if he’s on Facebook, etc.
It would be easier and much more interesting if they would simply invite Bigfoot to the party. He’s never been asked to speak, doesn’t get the SWAG (stuff we all get), no refreshments, nothing. If he was included, it would be an entirely different experience.
And what about merchandizing? The conference sells a variety of Bigfoot-themed sundries such as plaster footprint molds, DVDs, books, hats and posters, as well as camping equipment that might plausibly be used in a Bigfoot expedition. Bigfoot doesn’t get any royalties from these sales. What’s up with that? Like I said earlier, no respect.
If this wasn’t bad enough, Texas declared it legal to shoot Bigfoot even though they don’t acknowledge his existence. This seems to be putting the cart before the horse. You’d think a creature would have to exist before he could be shot. It’s ironic though because if his existence were accepted, Bigfoot would probably be declared endangered making him illegal to shoot. By virtue of allowing hunters to shoot the “nonexistent” beast, they may be ensuring his extinction.
Having a bad day? By comparison, you’re probably not.
May the farce be with you!
Your IFF and Psy-ficologist,