Wednesday, September 19, is the tenth International Talk Like A Pirate Day (TLAPD), not to be confused with Talk Like A Parrot Day (which I believe is every day). It’s such a unique event, I think we should celebrate all week.
To be properly prepared, you must (1) use a flashy pirate name, (2) dress appropriately and, of course, (3) talk like a pirate. You’ll be well prepared if you follow this simple guide.
A proper pirate name is preceded or followed by a flashy visual descriptor. Here’s what we’re using at our house: Scurvy Stephen, Poopdeck Pam, Dewey the Destroyer, Mia the Merciless and Angry Amy (she is a bird, after all).
Standard pirate colors are red and black accessorized with a dirty headscarf and shiny metal bling. For an authentic look, abstain from personal hygiene and emphasize personal flaws such as hairy moles (unless they’re on your butt, nobody wants to see that).
Talkin’ like a pirate involves droppin’ yer g’s, usin’ specialized terminology and addin’ flair to normal words. Here’s an example.
Scurvy Stephen: Ahoy me buxom beauty. Join me for grog to celebrate TLAP Day? There’s a whole crew of ole bilge rats goin’ from the dock.
Poopdeck Pam: Arrr!
Scurvy Stephen: Ye’ll have to leave the ship smartly then.
Poopdeck Pam: Aye, aye, ye ole scurvy lubber. I’ll try to crawl out of the greasy galley a little early.
Scurvy Stephen: Bring yer booty – ye be buyin!
Don’t be an addlepate (i.e., fool) on TLAPD. Make sure you’re properly prepared.
If you need more information go to the official Talk Like A Pirate Day website.
Yo, ho, ho.
May the farce be with ye Mateys! Arrr!