True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

Nutty Election

This was an historic week for the United States with the re-election of President Barack Obama. A lot of people thought President Obama was going to win because Mr. Nuts, a psychic cat from San Francisco, predicted the outcome. By selecting the litter box reserved for Mitt Romney, Mr. Nuts called Obama as the winner. Apparently Mr. Nuts has an impressive track record, correctly predicting the outcome of the Superbowl twice.  He literally craps on the losers.

Mr. Nuts (Photo from

Mr. Nuts wasn’t the only one to make the news this election. In Chicago, a pregnant woman postponed her delivery to vote. Her labor started at 3:00 am on election day but she wouldn’t go to the hospital until after the polls opened.

A guy in Michigan also made the news because he died at the polling station. Fortunately, he was revived by a nurse. He’s lucky he was in Michigan because he wouldn’t have made the news in Chicago. Dead people vote here all the time – usually more than once.

I didn’t experience anything unusual. I opted to vote early thinking it would be faster, but it took an hour. By the time they called my name I was so excited I wanted to jump up and yell “I won! I won!”

Frankly, I’m glad the election’s over so I can move onto more pressing matters… like how to get Mr. Nuts to squeeze out the winning lottery numbers for me.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,



Comments on: "Nutty Election" (5)

  1. Linda Lewis said:

    Why can’t we use this Mr. Nuts to decided our elections? Sure would save millions of dollars that could be used for the needy! Linda

  2. Stephen Hansen said:

    Apparently Mr. Nuts poops to the left….. Stephen……Mr. Right


  3. This is a topic that is close to my heart… Many thanks!
    Exactly where are your contact details though?

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