True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

Fractured Cliché #38

Fractured Cliché: Bone cracking cold

Correct Cliché: Bone chilling cold

For the first time in history, Punxsutawney Phil is being held accountable for wrongly predicting an early Spring when he failed to see his shadow on February 2.

Ohio Prosecuting Attorney Mike Gmoser claimed that Phil deliberately and purposefully misled the public. Gmoser threatened to issue an indictment charging Phil with a felony “against the peace and dignity of the state of Ohio”. If found guilty, the penalties would be severe. Oddly enough, Chuck, Phil’s counterpart in Ohio, has not been named as a co-conspirator.

Fortunately, Phil has his own attorney who vows to fight any extradition attempts by Ohio authorities.

In my opinion, Punxsutawney Phil has been wrongly accused. Groundhogs should not be held to higher standards than meteorologists. If weather forecasters were required to make accurate predictions, jails in every state would be overflowing.

It’s a well known fact that animals can predict weather, so it’s no surprise we turn to Punxsutawney Phil every year. Cows lie down before a storm, birds are quiet, and cats clean behind their ears before it rains.

In my household, we look to our dogs. They rarely see their shadow on Groundhog Day and in their case that tells us Spring’s a long way off.

It seems the only immediate hope for Spring is one in your step, hopefully not through snow.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,


Dewey didn't see his shadow on Groundhog Day signaling a late spring

Maybe Dewey didn’t see his shadow because he stayed in bed



Comments on: "Fractured Cliché #38" (2)

  1. Heard the groundhog was in the witness protection program now.
    (There is no truth to the rumors he was paid by lobbyists)

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