True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

Fractured Cliché #40

Fractured Cliché: He puked his pants

Correct Cliché: He pooped his pants

Puking in one’s pants seems not only unlikely, but unpleasant as well. Unless of course you fall into rare and expensive whale vomit, which is quite lucrative.

While walking along the beach near Morecambe, England, Ken Wilman’s dog, Madge, went crazy over a rock. It had such a foul odor, Mr. Wilman left it behind.

After conducting an internet search, he retrieved the odorous lump and ultimately sold it for $65,000.

The object was ambergris or whale vomit. It comes from the digestive tract of the sperm whale and is as rare as puking in your pants. Ambergris is used in luxury fragrances such as Chanel No. 5.

Knowing that vomit is an ingredient in some perfumes, I can think of more descriptive names, although they probably wouldn’t sell as well as Chanel No. 2.

  • Dry Heave Bouquet
  • White Pearl Hurl
  • Aroma of Retch
  • Essence of Spew
  • Up Chuck Exhalation

Too bad dog poop can’t be converted into a beautiful fragrance. If it could, I’d be a millionnaire.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,


Ken and Madge Wilman and their ambergris (Photo from

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