True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

Fractured Cliché #42

Fractured Cliché: Too many irons in my lap

Correct Cliché: Too many irons in the fire

I don’t iron. In fact, I don’t do any domestic chores that involve contact with fire or the use of fine motor skills. If a button falls off a shirt, I consider it ruined and think it should be thrown in the garbage.

Likewise, if something’s wrinkled, there are three options: (1) stay wrinkled, (2) attempt to remove wrinkles through steaming or running through the dryer, or (3) throw in the garbage.

Why? Because ironing is dangerous. Irons are hot and although they don’t require precise manual dexterity, someone who’s clumsy like me could be severely injured. It’s simply best not to put myself in that situation.

Stephen, on the other hand, will face fire and engage in enterprises such as sewing and ironing. He never throws out a shirt missing a button unless the shirt has other problems too. He’ll also use an iron to keep clothes looking fresh and crisp. Fearless, he’ll take on nearly any domestic activity.

Stephen’s not clumsy either so if he ends up with an iron in his lap, he’ll be sure it’s cooled off first. Me? I’m still waiting for the blisters on my legs to heal.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,


Iron Man

Iron Man


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