True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

In honor of school starting, following are a few stories from my sister who teaches second grade.

Quotes from Second Graders

  • This looks just like my sister only she has a different face.
  • Do you know those scrunchy people you saw me with in the mall? Those were my grandparents.
  • Climate is when you climb something.
  • Pink eye happens when you get cologne in your eyes. You know, that stuff in swimming pools.
  • What does transparent mean? When your parents put a lid on it and you can bring it to school.

Exchanges with Second Graders

Teacher: You may not throw wet paper towels in the garbage.
Student throws a wet paper towel in the garbage.
Teacher: What did I just say?
Student: You said we couldn’t throw wet paper towels in the garbage but I didn’t hear you.

Student: Teacher, I brought a pencil box and scissors for you.
Teacher: That was so nice
Student: I’m a girl scout – what do you expect?

Dad: How do you like school, son?
Son: Fine
Dad: What do you do all day?
Son: Well, we work in our math books. And we write in our diarrheas.

Teacher talks to class about importance of washing hands after using the bathroom.
Student: I went to the bathroom and I didn’t wash my hands. But don’t worry, it’s okay. I didn’t pee on them.

Student was vomiting so mom picked her up and took her to work with her.
Teacher: Sara, where did you stay yesterday?
Student: I went to work with mom. I stayed in the room with the garbage and paper towels.

Written notes from Second Graders

Note #1 – I’m sorry for whatever I did. I’m sorry. If it happens again you just get mad.
Note #2 – I’ll say I’m sorry. If it happens again I’ll hit myself 4 times in the head because I have a hard head so it doesn’t hurt and I’ll try to stop by covering my mouth.

Dear Teacher I got a IBM computer . It has lots of games. I have spelled most of this rite because it has a biltin dikshonarey . It is fun .

Little kids are some of the funniest people on the planet.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,


Local artwork - a common symbol of summer

Local artwork – a remembrance of summer


Comments on: "Kids Say The Wrongest Things" (4)

  1. If nothing else, small children always say exactly what they’re thinking! Thank goodness for those brave enough to go into a classroom, unarmed and outnumbered.

  2. I went into my sister’s classroom once. There was this carpet of cute little heads that I didn’t know what to do with. They moved fast and talked all at once. It was terrifying. Fortunately, my sister protected me.

  3. Wonderful! Since I’m not a teacher or a parent, I miss out on those adorable things kid say. Great getting a glimpse here, without all the not-so-fun stuff kids also do and say!

    • Thanks, Andrea. My sister’s file contained more anecdotes that I was able to include here. Kids never cease to surprise and amaze me.

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