True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

Holiday Letter 2013

Dear Family & Friends –

This has been a remarkable year.

In July, an asteroid destroyed our home.  Luckily no one was hurt and we were able to move into our basement.  Sifting through the rubble, we recovered a large tarp to use as a roof. We still have power because one of our gracious neighbors allowed us to run an extension cord from his home.

The dogs have been hunting local wildlife so we can put food on the floor (our table was destroyed with the house).  We learned the hard way that we couldn’t do the hunting ourselves.  Stephen had to spend three nights in jail for killing rabbits. On the bright side he had a bed and indoor plumbing during his incarceration.

Amy (our parrot) is also pulling her weight.  Now that we’re saving money to rebuild our home (we have to pay the bulk of the cost because we had elected NOT to get the extra asteroid insurance – who would have guessed?), we’re sending our correspondence via parrot currier.  Amy’s a little slower than USPS but much more reliable.  The only problem is that she gets bogged down with heavy packages.

Every day we marvel at the generosity of others.  Once the temperatures hit -10 degrees, a neighbor gave us a sleeping bag and a child’s Tyco playhouse.  Stephen and I take turns wrapping up in the sleeping bag.  The one inside sleeps on top of the other to provide added warmth. Our pets use the playhouse as a shelter to keep warm.

We also discovered that old garbage gives off heat – you just have to be willing to put up with the smell.  Our neighbors have been helping there too, by dumping their garbage in our basement. So thoughtful.

We’re hoping for a lot of snow this winter because it’s an excellent source of water.  When we want to melt it quickly, we set a bucket (also supplied by a neighbor – bless them all) under another neighbor’s dryer vent and it works like a charm.

The challenges we’ve faced this year have certainly changed our outlook on life and made us appreciate the generosity of others. Life is not only full of surprises but also full of blessings.

Here’s wishing you a very happy holiday season.


May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,


Dewey hunting squirrels

Dewey hunting squirrels


Comments on: "Holiday Letter 2013" (7)

  1. Linda Lewis said:

    Good thing his booties were not damaged!

  2. If you already got an asteroid, you’re absolutely set to be the next lottery winner…check that ticket in the neighbor’s trash! (And that’s one cute little Prancer!. Jingle on!)

  3. You forgot to tell us where we could send large amounts of money to help you rebuild. This is the best Christmas letter…ever…bar none!

  4. […] My house hasn’t been destroyed by an asteroid […]

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