True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

I’m afraid of dentists. I don’t suffer from dentophobia because phobias are irrational and my fear is grounded in facts.

One reason I find the experience so awful is because I’m resistant to the effects of novocaine. Inevitably, I need megadoses in order to numb the affected area.

Last week I had to have some work done. When the dentist entered the room, I reminded her that I’m a chicken and needed nitrous oxide. She assured me that everything would be fine as she hooked me up to the magic gas.

As the nitrous started to take hold, I stopped hyperventilating, my body became less tense (although not relaxed) and the room began to spin. Mysteriously it only spun to the right yet remained in the same place. As more gas entered my system, voices drifted farther away and so did the pain.

As usual, the dentist injected me with novocaine and attempted to begin her work a few minutes later. When the area wasn’t numb, she added more and more again. While completing the final injection, she commented that I would be numb for a long, long, time. At this point the room stopped spinning and I started to fly. I swear I had an out of body experience.

Although I enjoy the feeling of nitrous, it’s akin to taking laughing gas in hell. I want the experience but the location sucks. It’s too big a price to pay just to get the gas.

When I left the office, my cheek felt like it was the size of a hamster’s who had just stuffed a pound of seeds and nuts into his mouth.

As I write this blog, I’m left with a hefty bruise on my cheek and psychological scars that refuse to heal.

Until the next time, I’ll brush, floss, and convince myself that dentists only exist in horror stories.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,



This is me at the dentist


Comments on: "I May Be In Hell, But At Least I’m High" (7)

  1. Oh boy. Being afraid of the dentist was never an option for me. My dad was a dentist. My older brother is a dentist and still does all my dental work. Sure, I get free dental work, but you haven’t lived until your older brother is standing over you with a giant needle saying “This won’t hurt a bit. Ahh, just kidding, this is going to hurt like hell!” Fortunately I made friends with his assistant so she wops him upside the head when I am temporarily incapacitated. Still, if all else fails and he’s still mean to me, I just say in my best little girl voice ” I am SO telling mom!”

    Farce on my friend, farce on…

  2. My Dentist likes Hockey.

  3. Pam……………………I feel sorry for you! So awful !

  4. Ahh the Magic Gas 🙂 Or sweet air as it was once called. I love love love going to the dentist just for the gas. There is no better feeling than when it first kicks in and the floating begins. Then I just lay back and fall in love with the ceiling tiles and lights……lol. Email me if you would like. I would love to chat more about it 🙂 Keith

I love it when you comment - it makes my day!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: