Me: “Stephen, what’s on your neck?”
Stephen: “I’m not sure but it hurts.”
Me: “Let me see it. Oh my gosh! No wonder it hurts, it’s a huge fish boil!”
That’s not what this blog is about. It’s about my first fish boil – the experience of cooking fish in a big pot of boiling water and then eating it.
The process started with patrons gathering outside around a black pot boiling over an open flame, resembling a witch’s brew.
As the crowd gathered, the Boil Master took center stage.
He talked about the history and mechanics of the fish boil and told bad fish jokes:
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
What did the fish say when it swam into the wall?
At the end of the program, the Boil Master threw oil into the pot igniting the flames, indicating it was time to eat.
Everyone went inside and lined up to receive their food.
The feast included whitefish, small red potatoes, tiny white onions, coleslaw, bread and dessert. (Note: It’s customary to pour melted butter over the entire meal – sans the desert.)
Once seated, a server came to our table and deboned the fish. The only thing left was to remove the skin.
Although I have no recollection, I’m told that I expelled a number of disgusting sounds the entire time I removed the skin from my fish. I have no culinary skills, everyone knows it, yet I find myself in situations that require food preparation prior to eating. This time it was worth it.
Surviving the skin removal, I was pleasantly surprised to find the meal delicious. Of course anything soaked in butter should taste good.
It truly was a wonderful evening. I’d even venture to say it would have been perfect if it hadn’t been for that nasty sore on Stephen’s neck.
May the farce be with you!