True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

I recently traveled to visit my friend, Vivian, to help her organize some things in her house.

I volunteered to go through the kitchen because it was a big job (nearly a whole day) and I could do the work without supervision, freeing Vivian to pursue other endeavors.

Before - when the cupboards were full

Before – when the cupboards were full

As I was sorting through the cupboards, I threw out expired items. I think most people find such items periodically, but for Vivian almost everything had to be tossed.

Once finished, I showed Vivian my handiwork so she could see that most items would have to be replaced.

There's almost nothing left

There’s almost nothing left

A few weeks later when we were talking, Vivian told me that she had come down with a severe stomach flu. She went into her kitchen looking for chicken soup, hoping the mild liquid would make her feel better. To her chagrin, her cupboards were bare.

She concluded it was my fault that she couldn’t find anything to eat because I threw everything away.

I reminded her that I only tossed expired items – that she was lucky. If it hadn’t been for me, she would have eaten bad soup that would have exacerbated her already distressed gut. She didn’t sound convinced.

Now that I think about it, maybe it wasn’t an accident when she almost ran over me with her car on one of our trips to the dumpster with the expired food.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,



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