Toward the end of a delicious meal with my friend, Vivian, the server left our check with instructions to take our time.
Out of habit, I immediately reached for my wallet. The following conversation ensued.
Vivian – You don’t have to pay now. We’re still eating – you should wait.
Me – I want to get my money out. You can wait until you’re finished – there’s no rush.
Vivian – Exactly my point – there’s no rush. You shouldn’t touch that dirty money and then continue eating with those nasty fingers. It’s gross. Just wait.
That was when I started having fun.
I reached into my wallet, pulled the money out and rubbed it between my hands – right in front of her face. I made a big show of it prior to placing the money with the check.
Then I grabbed a french fry off of my plate and rubbed it between my hands before placing it in my mouth. Again, making a big show of it.
Vivian – That’s disgusting. You don’t know where that money has been. You’re going to catch some awful disease.
Me – This coming from the woman with four cats who stick their paws and faces in your glass after using the litter box and licking their own butts.
I think we all know who won that conversation!
May the farce be with you!
(Hey Vivian – I’m still not sick!)