True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

Dirty Money

Toward the end of a delicious meal with my friend, Vivian, the server left our check with instructions to take our time.

Out of habit, I immediately reached for my wallet. The following conversation ensued.

Vivian – You don’t have to pay now. We’re still eating – you should wait.

Me – I want to get my money out. You can wait until you’re finished – there’s no rush.

Vivian – Exactly my point – there’s no rush. You shouldn’t touch that dirty money and then continue eating with those nasty fingers. It’s gross. Just wait.

That was when I started having fun.

I reached into my wallet, pulled the money out and rubbed it between my hands – right in front of her face. I made a big show of it prior to placing the money with the check.

Then I grabbed a french fry off of my plate and rubbed it between my hands before placing it in my mouth. Again, making a big show of it.

Vivian – That’s disgusting. You don’t know where that money has been. You’re going to catch some awful disease.

Me – This coming from the woman with four cats who stick their paws and faces in your glass after using the litter box and licking their own butts.

I think we all know who won that conversation!

Check mate.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,


(Hey Vivian – I’m still not sick!)

This is one of the creatures that keeps Vivian's immune system active

This is one of the creatures that keeps Vivian’s immune system active


Comments on: "Dirty Money" (3)

  1. HA that cat’s hysterically funny (but she’s probably immune to their germs…the ones on the restaurant table ……)

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