True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

After months of exhaustion and forgetfulness, I was diagnosed with sleep apnea. The doctor presented two treatment options: (1) CPAP or (2) Oral Appliance.

The CPAP is an alien looking device that provides Continuous Positive Airway Pressure, i.e., it blows air through your windpipe to keep it open. In my mind, it looks something like this. I did not choose this option.

This is how I envision the CPAP

This is how I envision the CPAP

After choosing the Oral Appliance, I was sorely disappointed to find out that it wasn’t a toaster or microwave because those are the only two oral appliances I already know how to operate. This device isn’t really an appliance at all, it’s just a fancy mouth guard.

My oral appliance

My oral appliance

As innocuous as it appears in the picture, this mouthpiece is actually quite monstrous. Molded to my upper and lower teeth, it pulls my lower jaw forward in order to open my air passage. In the morning, I have to realign my jaw by biting down on an impression. With my lower jaw jutting forward, I look like a bulldog when I sleep.

This is me at night

This is me at night

Even though I do this every day, I wonder about the wisdom of misaligning a major body part every night only have to put it back in place the next morning. Fortunately the “appliance” works because I can now breathe when I sleep. Not only that, I can proudly add another appliance to my repertoire of things I can operate.

Sweet dreams and may the farce be with you!

Your IFF,




Comments on: "To Sleep, Perchance To Sleep" (9)

  1. Pamela Bonk said:

    I can so relate this is hysterical but let me tell you I know how to appreciate a good night’s sleep with my CPAP using my nasal pillow. Not as invasive as the mask. Back in the day when I started with my Appliance there was no offer of a mouthpiece. Large glass jar and purchased a travel unit when I went to Italy and I bring it anytime I’m on vacation never thought of a mouthpiece let me know how that works for you. Hail to the Farce lol!

    • Pamela Bonk said:

      I meant to say last year I purchased LOL as you can see voice recognition does not always work

      • I’ve found so many people who use the CPAP. What happened to the days when people just slept? The CPAP is a perfect example of “if you build it, they will come”. Glad you liked the blog! Thanks, Pam.

  2. You’re lucky the oral appliance worked for you. And congrats for adding its operation to your skill set (oooh aaaah). I tried that first but ultimately ended up with a CPAP mask that I actually love. Sleep like a baby. Take it everywhere I go. And TSA has to let me take distilled water through security, which makes me feel sort of superior. Or something. Anyway, enjoy your restful nights!

    • Taking water through airport security? You should feel superior because you are! Even though I don’t want to take water past TSA, I’m still jealous that you can do it. I’d be careful, there are a lot of haters out there who might attack you out of envy. If they do – spray water on them. It works on my dog.

  3. Sleep is good. If it works, it works
    But doesn’t your jaw and face muscles get sore? My cat would probably snarl and hiss at me all night..she doesn’t like changes

    • Sleep is so, so, so, so, good. I didn’t realize how good it is until I started getting a good night’s sleep. My jaw does get sore but not at night. The most difficult part is moving my jaw back to its natural position in the morning. I hope it will get easier over time.

  4. […] been wearing an oral appliance at night to prevent sleep apnea. To prove that the device is working, I had to undergo a home sleep […]

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    Do you have any? Kindly permit me realize in order that I may just subscribe.

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