Last week I went to a new doctor and the first thing the nurse did was ask me to weigh in. She didn’t mean my opinion but I gave it to her anyway.
Here’s what I said.
“Okay – the way I see it, this can go one of three ways.”
“One – I can step on that scale and you can record my actual weight.” (As I said it, I frowned and shook my head no.)
“Two – You can simply write down ‘too much’.” (Again, I frowned and shook my head no – reinforcing subliminal messaging.)
“Three – You can write whatever number I give you in exchange for a $10 Target gift card.” (I shook my head yes, smiled and winked.) (I had to up the ante because $5 didn’t work last time.)
Then I said: “I would think long and hard about this before you answer because there’s one option where we both win.” She laughed, paused like she was thinking about it, but in the end I had to step on the scale.
Dammit! Living in the suburbs of Chicago, I was sure bribery would work.
May the farce be with you!