True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

I’m going to visit my mom to celebrate her 85th birthday. She lives 900 miles away and I only see her once a year, however, we talk on the phone several times per week. Here’s an account of some of our most recent awkward conversations.

============

Mom: I’m going to be 85 years old. No one should live that long. I should have died younger.

[Long pause on my end.]

Pam: How old would you have preferred to die?

Mom: In my 70s.

[I didn’t ask why. Sometimes you just have to let it go.]

============

Mom: Old age is going to kill me.

Pam: It has that effect on most people.

[Really – what else was I supposed to say?]

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On living in an assisted living facility:

Mom: I hate it here. I’m surrounded by all these old people.

[Remember – Mom is 85.]

============

Mom: I just watched the worst show I’ve ever seen on TV. It was so stupid – absolutely horrible. You have to watch it.

[I watched it and I’m sure I’ve permanently lost brain cells.]

============

Mom: How are your dogs?

Pam: They’re great. I wish you could see them.

Mom: Well, that’s never going to happen.

Pam: I can bring pictures of them when I visit.

Mom: No. I don’t really care.

============

My visit is coming up soon. With any luck, she’ll give me something to talk about.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

 

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