I’m going to visit my mom to celebrate her 85th birthday. She lives 900 miles away and I only see her once a year, however, we talk on the phone several times per week. Here’s an account of some of our most recent awkward conversations.
Mom: I’m going to be 85 years old. No one should live that long. I should have died younger.
[Long pause on my end.]
Pam: How old would you have preferred to die?
Mom: In my 70s.
[I didn’t ask why. Sometimes you just have to let it go.]
Mom: Old age is going to kill me.
Pam: It has that effect on most people.
[Really – what else was I supposed to say?]
On living in an assisted living facility:
Mom: I hate it here. I’m surrounded by all these old people.
[Remember – Mom is 85.]
Mom: I just watched the worst show I’ve ever seen on TV. It was so stupid – absolutely horrible. You have to watch it.
[I watched it and I’m sure I’ve permanently lost brain cells.]
Mom: How are your dogs?
Pam: They’re great. I wish you could see them.
Mom: Well, that’s never going to happen.
Pam: I can bring pictures of them when I visit.
Mom: No. I don’t really care.
My visit is coming up soon. With any luck, she’ll give me something to talk about.
May the farce be with you!