True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

Have It Our Way

We’ve ordered from the same pizza company for over 20 years. It’s a national chain, available just about anywhere. Every time we order, we ask for extra sauce. It hasn’t been a problem until recently.

A new franchise opened in our neighborhood and they simply refuse to add extra sauce. They’ll take the order but when the pizzas arrive, they have so little sauce, they resemble cheese bread.

This last order was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Stephen called the pizza place and explained that once again, they got our order wrong. He was chastised for not calling sooner, lectured on corporate standards for extra sauce, and offered a 25% discount on our next order – the best they could do since we didn’t call sooner. All this because they got our order wrong.

This prompted me to contact customer service to let them know that they were about to lose a long-time customer. They insisted the issue be resolved locally.

We then got a call from the local restaurant. They said they were calling because corporate told them we complained. They could add extra sauce as we requested but the pizza would take longer to cook and might be underdone when we received it. (How appetizing!) They also said the toppings might slide around making the pizza look lopsided. They wanted our acceptance of these risks so we wouldn’t complain about them in the future.

We were also told our next order would be free (instead of 25% off). We were guaranteed extra sauce as long as “Mary” was working because she’s the only one authorized to let us have the extra sauce.

We’ve decided we’ll order our free pizza but our expectations of the order being right are low. Apparently this company’s motto is “Have it your way as long as your way matches our way”.

May the sauce be with you!

Your IFF,


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