Spending a week with my 86 year old mother is always a trip – both in terms of distance and experience. She never disappoints with her quips and this year the slights fell on the mild side.
Mom: Have you ever thought about wearing eyeliner?
Pam: You mean like I’m wearing now?
Mom: How about eyeshadow – I think you would look good in eyeshadow.
Pam: I’m wearing eyeshadow.
Mom: I think we should all (my sister included) get breast implants.
Pam: My boobs are already big – I don’t need implants.
Mom: You should get breast reduction surgery.
Pam: I don’t think I’m big enough for insurance to pay for it. Besides, I don’t want to go through any unnecessary surgery.
Mom: You would look better with smaller breasts.
Pam: How small do you think my breasts should be?
Mom: Get little nubbins – I think that would look good.
This year it was my face and boobs, last year it was my hair. I can’t wait to see what she says next year – we’re obviously working our way down my body.
May the farce be with you!
Second image from greetingcarduniverse dot com