True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

This little doggy went to market.

She likes to get all dressed up to go shopping in high-end stores, buying anything she wants.

 

This little doggy stayed home.

He slept. He’s an old man. Sleeping is one of his favorite things.

 

This little doggy would love to have roast beef, chicken, turkey, pork, pasta, pizza…

He’ll eat almost anything if given the chance.

 

This little doggy had none. Sadly, his person restricts his dietary intake.

On the bright side – he maintains his svelte figure by eating right plus 4-6 hours of vigorous exercise a day.

 

These little doggies went wee wee wee all the way home.

Because they’re so happy to be together.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

Hindsight

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In Heinz sight, do you see a fruit or a vegetable?

The Tricycle

One of my friends hosted a garage sale this weekend which included an adult tricycle. I used to enjoy riding bikes but my last few rides, I fell over each time I stopped and several times while moving. Recognizing the obvious dangers, I stopped riding. It seemed reasonable that an adult tricycle might give me the ability to ride again, so I bought it.

When I got home I took my new toy out for a spin. Like a proud father, Stephen stood in the driveway watching. On my first try, I went down the driveway, across the street, stopping inches from the curb. Breathing fast, I turned to Stephen and said “I don’t know what happened. I just couldn’t turn.”

My second attempt began with a slow turn so I could get the feel of it because the tricycle didn’t handle the same as a bike. After turning, I pedaled down the street at a slight angle and came inches from crashing into our neighbor’s car. After I stopped, I looked back at Stephen, my eyes wide and my mouth open in a silent scream. He had a horrified expression on his face but was frozen in time, unable to speak.

Still undeterred, I tried a third time, turning slowly, heading back home. When I complained how hard it was to ride, Stephen gave it a try. He ended up riding it on two wheels, demonstrating how I would still be able to fall over. That cinched it, the bike had to go back.

When I returned it, I told my friend the bike tried to kill me and it attempted to destroy my neighbor’s property. Yes, I could have kept it. I could have learned to ride it. As they say: “You never forget. It’s as easy as falling off a bike.” Which is exactly the problem.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

I couldn’t find a picture of me riding a tricycle but I could really make that horse go!

Spring

Buds from the elusive coil tree are a sure sign of Spring

Easter Poem

I found these eggs by my front door, brought by the Easter Bunny.

When I looked inside the eggs, I laughed at something funny.

One egg, it was still unhatched, one had a dinosaur,

Stephen filled the other egg which caused my laugh to roar.

After fully hatching, I brought Stephen home.

As soon as he escaped the egg, the man began to roam.

He brought home many creatures, the dogs I liked the best.

They put up with all kinds of stuff, even getting dressed.

Life is full of ups and downs, cloudy days and sunny.

I love the times you don’t expect, like these three Easter Bunnies.

I find every day is a complete and total treasure.

I hope your days are filled with joy and laughter beyond measure.

Peep Show

The real reason Peeps are so popular

 

Photo courtesy of one of my favorite greeting cards

On Being Sick

I’ve been flat on my back sick for the past three weeks.

Deciding that I wouldn’t get better on my own, I went to the doctor. When looking in my ear, she said “Huh, I’ve never seen this before. I have no idea what it is.” She then brought in another doctor who said the same thing, conjuring horrible images of those brain biting bugs from Star Trek trying to eat their way out of my head through my ear.

Star Trek Neural Parasite

A specialist was clearly in order – I had to get this bug out of my head.

When the Ear Nose and Throat doctor walked into the room, he offered the standard greeting “How are you today?”. Because the neural parasite had eaten away at my defenses, I couldn’t respond in kind, so I confessed “I’d rather not be here”.  When he said he felt the same way, I knew we would get along just fine. After checking me over, I held my breath waiting for the baneful brain barnacle disease diagnosis – timidly asking if he found anything weird in my ear. He laughed and said there was fluid pressing against my tympanic membrane – nothing more. Whew!

The inside of my ear

He offered new medications but expressed concern that one might interact with another drug I was taking. As he checked for potential problems, I said “You mean like a deadly interaction? Because if you kill me that will definitely stop the sinus infection.” Happy to still be alive, there’s only six more weeks to go before my ear is healed and my hearing returns!

Until then, I will continue to lay around the house like a slug.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

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