True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

Winter Driving

Post nasal drip is especially treacherous

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The Sandwich Conundrum

The following conversations are regarding a sausage, egg and cheese muffin Stephen made for lunch at work.

Day 1

Pam: How was lunch today?

Stephen: It was okay.

Pam: Just okay?

Stephen: Yeah. It tasted good but I heated it with the cheese on top and everytime I took a bite, cheese got stuck in my teeth. Tomorrow I think I’ll make it with the cheese on the bottom.

Pam: Did you ever think to just turn the sandwich upside down when you eat it?

Stephen: No but that’s probably a good idea.

Day 2

Pam: How was lunch today?

Stephen: It was okay.

Pam: Just okay?

Stephen: Yeah. Today I heated it with the cheese on the bottom and when it melted, it ran all over the plate. I had to scrape it up and put it back on the sandwich. It was kind of a pain.

Pam: Hmm, that’s too bad.

Stephen: Tomorrow I think I’ll heat it with the cheese on top and eat it upside down.

Pam: Wow, that’s brilliant…

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

 

Up In Arms

Stephen is up in arms!

Across State Lines

I grew up in North Dakota and every year I return to visit family. After being gone for so long, I appreciate the differences between ND and Illinois, my current home. For example, Illinois has the most beautiful trees,

A scenic Illinois road

whereas ND is sparsely forested.

Buford National Forest

It’s cold in ND with winter wind-chill temperatures often reaching more than 40 below zero.

In the summer, ND temps can reach 120 above. Illinois temperatures aren’t as extreme but the humidity is high, making hot summer days uncomfortable.

In my area, the suburbs run together so it’s nearly impossible to identify the boundaries from one town to the next. In North Dakota, each town has a unique identity because everything is miles apart. But the advantage? The traffic is usually light.

A common ND traffic pattern

People are unbelievably friendly in ND and many still leave their doors unlocked – something that would never happen in my neighborhood, even though it’s safe.

Illinoisians have local phrases like “Da Bulls” and “Yous Guys” and people from the south side of Chicago have a recognizable accent. North Dakotans also have a distinctive accent sprinkled with colorful colloquialisms.

After spending many years of my life in ND, I still say Uff da (a Norwegian term of exasperation) and it remains one of my favorite words. Our dogs, who are Italian, are now being exposed to Scandinavian culture with their new water dish.

I haven’t heard them say Wuff da yet, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

Soul For Sale

Harvey was thrilled when he sold his Soul to the Devil for asking price. He thought the color might have been the selling point.

The Haunting

Every year my friend, Vivian, visits to celebrate the holidays. She always sleeps in the same room. Last year, she heard strange noises during the night and concluded the room is haunted. She may be right.

We have a journal in the guest room in which our visitors can write comments. After Vivian left last year, we found the following entry from my deceased father-in-law who also used to stay in that room.

Wayne was a jokester in life. I’m not saying he haunted the room or wrote the note, but these actions are consistent with his character.

This year Vivian once again heard noises during the night, insisting the room is still haunted. No other guest has made this claim, so I felt it only fair to notify future visitors of this possibility by including my own note in the guest book.

IMG_1189.jpg

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

Vivian sleeping through the haunting. (Second note to self: make noises louder next year)

 

 

Short Lived Resolution

 

Hope you have more success

Image from NobleWorks Cards

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