True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

Posts tagged ‘Alien’

Christian Grey

It appears as though this Gray Alien is a Christian

It appears as though this Gray Alien is a Christian

Take Me To Your Leader

"Take Me To Your Liter" - the result of pour ennunciation

“Take Me To Your Liter” – the result of pour enunciation

Orb-ituary

Archaeologists in Mexico have made a major discovery. While excavating under the pyramid “Temple of the Feathered Serpent”, they discovered two previously unknown chambers filled with hundreds of mysterious metal spheres.

A robot made the discovery, travelling through a 330-foot tunnel filled with nearly 100 feet of debris that was placed there deliberately. (Anyone who’s ever watched Indiana Jones knows that’s a clear sign to stay away!)

Ranging in size from 4 – 12 inches and estimated to be 1,800 years old, neither the purpose nor the origin of the spheres is clear.

Their core has organic matter and they’re coated with a mineral that would have shone as a brilliant gold. The discovery is being heralded as unprecedented.

Spaceship Orbs

Mysterious Orbs (Source: news.discovery.com)

Meanwhile, 3,800 miles to the south in Chile’s Atacama Desert, a 6-inch long mummified humanoid creature was found. It has an oblong shaped head like Nefertiti and was originally thought to be of extraterrestrial origin. Identified as male, it has been nicknamed Ata (Atta-boy!).

Tiny Alien (Source: doubtfulnews.com)

Tiny Humanoid (Source: doubtfulnews.com)

Garry Nolan, one of the scientists who examined Ata is quoted as saying: “I can say with absolute certainty that it is not a monkey. It is human — closer to human than chimpanzees. It lived to the age of six to eight.”

Although Mr. Nolan claims Ata is human – look at his actual words: “closer to human than chimpanzees”. So which is it – human or close to human?

He further goes on to say “My interest, frankly, is to disprove that it’s anything unusual …” Agreed – there’s nothing unusual about a tiny humanoid.

One for pointing out the obvious, taken together, these two stories present a logical explanation: Ata arrived in a sphere like those discovered in Mexico and the organic cores in the center of those spheres are more Atas.

It may be far-fetched, but until someone comes up with something better – I’m going with it.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF and Psy-Ficologist,

Pam

Purple People Eater

There are certain things we learn as kids.

Our parents teach us not to run with scissors, talk with our mouth full, or stick our finger in a light socket. Friends teach us how to share, fit in, and annoy our parents.

We also learn from watching movies. Horror movies have taught me to never trust a guy in a hockey mask and stay out of dark, scary places such as parking garages and basements. Any temptation to find out about the unknown, to “go over there by myself in the dark and take a look” will ultimately yield a bad result. It’s like being the extra in a Star Trek episode. That red uniform guarantees your character will be killed.

One immutable truth is to never mess with an unknown substance. It could be alien and take over your brain, toxic and take over your brain, or dangerous in some unknown way and take over your brain. Don’t touch it, taste it, smell it, poke it, or get close enough where it could explode in your face or otherwise contaminate you. Remember, it can take over your brain.

Knowing all this, I’m at a loss to explain the behavior of Tucson’s KGUN reporters. Upon finding thousands of mysterious gooey purple marbles in the desert, they violated the “don’t touch” rule. They got close to the orbs, poked and squished them until they oozed a watery substance.

purple spheres (source: ca.news.yahoo.com)

Brain eating purple spheres of unknown origin (Photo from ca.news.yahoo.com)

Knowing all the bad things that can happen, I closely observed the reporters for signs that their brains had been overtaken. Although I’ve never seen their show before nor observed their behavior in the past, they nevertheless appeared to be somewhat glassy-eyed and stiff, maybe under some type of unnatural control.

I think we need to keep our eyes and ears open for strange events in Tucson. When the CDC reports a “mysterious illness” and quarantines the area, remember that you read it here first.

Don’t touch anything you can’t identify. And to play it safe, stay out of Tucson for a while.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

Wouldn’t You Like To Be A Prepper Too?

Most people prepare for things. Some plan out every aspect of their lives whereas others simply make sure they have enough toilet paper. A subset of the population, called Preppers, is preparing for doomsday. It doesn’t matter how the world will end – sink holes, asteroids or Zombies – Preppers will be ready.

I wouldn’t call Stephen a Prepper, but he has been primed for disaster. Remember before Y2K when the world was going to end? Stephen was ready. He stockpiled flashlights, food, water and other sundries. I think we still have jugs of water in the basement.

After 9/11 there was talk about the possibility of an airborne biological weapon. For months our bathtub was filled with food, jugs of water, sheets of plastic, duct tape and a microwave. (Note: Microwaves are just as dangerous to bathe with as toasters and hair dryers, so don’t try this at home.) I know you’re probably thinking that we must have been very dirty during that time but we have a separate shower so it was okay.

The latest tool to help prepare for disaster uses a Faraday cage – an enclosure constructed of material that blocks external static and electromagnetic radiation. Let’s say outer space aliens intended to destroy Earth using an electromagnetic pulse (EMP), a Faraday cage would stop any electronic devices under its protection from being destroyed.

One of our friends decided to build his own Faraday cage to protect his phone. He didn’t necessarily think the world was going to end but wanted to be ready just in case.  When we asked who he was going to call in the event the Faraday cage was needed since everyone else’s phone would stop working, he didn’t have a ready answer. Guess he wasn’t as prepared as he thought!

With any luck the world will be destroyed by Zombies who are unlikely to have EMP capabilities.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

I appreciate the security but the Faraday cage makes it hard to work

Alien Abduction

If you’ve read the “About Me” portion of this Flogitter (brown button, upper right hand corner), you know that I have survived an alien implant (aka I was abducted). Since I have been writing for a while now, it only seems fair that I tell you my story.

It was a dark and stormy night … no it wasn’t! It was a sunny and clear afternoon. Innocent observers would tell you that I fell down some stairs and injured my ankle. They could be right, but that would be a pretty boring story.

So I propose that maybe what really happened is that aliens seized and abducted me. I had travelled to Roswell the year before and I think that’s where they picked up my scent with their teensy noses (see photo).

I, of course, have no memory of where the aliens took me or how long they kept me (further proof of my story). Clever as they are, the aliens altered the space/time continuum and returned me to almost the exact moment in time from which I was abducted. In their haste, they failed to account for the rotation of the earth and dropped me a fraction of a second too soon, causing the resultant fall.

Their secret would have been safe if an “implant point” had not become noticeable. But ahhh, the force of the “fall” was too much and the alien’s handiwork “erupted”.

The “eruption” to which I refer was what appeared to be a huge shard of bone protruding under the skin from the outside of my left ankle. As I suspected, no such protrusion was apparent on my right ankle. When the doctor looked at it, he claimed the lump was only a cyst but I think “they” got to him.

Even though the lump is no longer visible, I just know that every time I step outside my house, somewhere in the universe a little blinky light goes on tracking my every move like one of those criminal ankle bracelets.

Now you have the facts. Even if you don’t believe me, you have to admit, my version of the truth is much more interesting than the doctor’s!

So what does this have to do with my Write Choice you might ask? It’s great material for a Blog Story (no BS here)!

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF and Psy-Ficologist,

Pam

The Truth Is Out There (Not In Here)

What’s a bizarre story from your life – alien abduction or otherwise?

Proof of Life?

“Aliens exist and we have proof.” This is how the first article started.

And the next day, the second article started like this:

“Top NASA scientists said there was no scientific evidence to support a colleague’s claim that fossils of alien microbes born in outer space had been found in meteorites on Earth.”

What a difference!  I have heard that when someone’s lying they overcompensate.  If that’s true, I am inclined to believe the first article.

So let’s start with the first article. It quoted Dr. Richard Hoover, a NASA scientist. Dr. Hoover who has studied meteorites for more than 10 years, found fossils of bacteria in a meteorite that he claims are extraterrestrial. His findings were published in the peer-reviewed Journal of Cosmology. Some of the fossils (pictured below) are described as strikingly similar to those found on earth whereas others are completely unique.

Alien Meteorite Cooties

After this story was made public, NASA came out with their official position that the microbes are of earthly origin and are the result of contamination due to people handling the meteorite on which the bacteria were found. They also stated that Mr. Hoover lacked qualifications in analyzing meteorites and that NASA couldn’t stand behind a scientific claim unless it had been peer-reviewed (such as by the Journal of Cosmology).

Since NASA is basically contradicting itself, conspiracy theorists might find some holes here.

Personally, I think the story might have had more credibility if it had been published in the Journal of Cosmetology. That picture looks like I imagine skin must look under a microscope when too much make-up has been applied. Think about how extraterrestrial some people look when they wear too much make-up and it’s even worse if they have had too much plastic surgery.

Before we leave this story, it’s important to note that included in the report in which NASA debunks Dr./Mr. Hoover, are claims that they found a new form of bacteria that could be evidence of life from another planet in the depths of a lake in California.  This is one story a number of people will probably believe as some Californians have long been suspected of being extraterrestrial.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF and Psy-Ficologist,

Pam

Next week I present more evidence of life on other planets when I talk about my alien implant.

One more thing.  Check out my new movie “Fangtastic” by going to http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/11702581 or view it directly on my home page (look on the right toward the top). This is my entry in xtranormal.com’s film festival.

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