True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

Posts tagged ‘butt’

The End

I have always had a thutt – a lack of distinction between the thigh and butt. In other words, a flat butt. Since I’ve been working out, I think that maybe, just perhaps, my thutt has finally developed into two distinct body parts. But now I’m not so sure. See for yourself.

Stephen was hugging me with his hands on my backside. Our conversation went like this:

Stephen: Wow – you have a nice round birthday cake.

Pam: No I don’t, I have a thutt.

Stephen: Seriously, it’s really round.

Pam: You’re feeling my thighs.

Following a long pause, Stephen felt around to see if I was right. I felt like the thutt of my own joke.

After years of working out, I still think my thutt might have gotten a little rounder, butt in the end it doesn’t really matter.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

 

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Thutless Conversation

Last week Stephen said something I never thought I would hear.

Stephen – What’s that round thing on your backside?

Pam – What are you talking about?

Stephen – Your butt – you have a round butt!

Pam – No I don’t – I have a thut.* You know that.

Stephen – I’m telling you, I see a little roundness back there.

Of course I didn’t believe him because I’ve had a thut my entire life. However, I’ve been doing Jazzercise for several years and my instructor constantly reminds us that we only make one kind of cake in her class…. round!

I paused and thought that this situation might be similar to an earlier discovery. After doing Jazzercise for several months, I found these strange lumps on my arms. Stephen told me they’re called muscles.

With that in mind, I looked in the mirror for a “round birthday cake” but sadly, all I could see was my thut. Guess my cake is still in the oven!

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

*A thut is a flat butt that blends into your thighs so they appear as one.

We only make round birthday cakes!

We only make round birthday cakes!

Asinine

Is this ass a 9?

Is this ass a 9?

Queen Thut

Shopping for jeans is a horrific experience, second only to trying on bathing suits.

In order to improve the experience, I have fun with it. My latest ploy is to check out my butt in the mirror and loudly declare that it might be dangerous to buy these jeans because they make my butt look like JLo’s.

This never fails to elicit laughter from clerks and customers – anyone within earshot. I especially make a big deal about jeans that have bling on the butt because, you know, the butt looks bigger yet.

The reason my JLo comments are out of place is because I have a thutt – a butt that’s so flat it blends into my thighs.

I have junk in my trunk. The only problem – my trunk’s in a Smart Car.

I regularly exercise and one of the body parts we focus on is the rear end, bumper, badonkadonk, badinkadink, booty, tushy, tuckus, bum, money maker, birthday cake. Shelly, my instructor, always asks what kind of cakes we make in our bakery. The answer – round!

Since I’ve been exercising for several years now, it makes sense that my thutt would round out at least a little. Frankly, I’m of the opinion that it has. I think at least once or twice someone’s briefly had a passing thought that maybe I look slightly like JLo in the backside.

On second thutt, maybe not.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

I've got the Fiat version of JLo's Bumper

I’ve got the Fiat version of JLo’s Bumper

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