True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

Posts tagged ‘family’

Chew On This

Audrey, our youngest Italian Greyhound (IG), loves to chew. In addition to toys, anything is fair game: her dog tags, Max’s collar (her brother), wires, walls, windows, and anything else she can find.

Audrey chewing on the window

An elegant breed, Audrey can make IGs look goofy.

IGs are dignified

Because of Audrey’s propensity to gnaw, we raise our wooden vertical blinds out of reach and position the pulls where she can’t touch them. This is the damage she can do.

A pull before and after Audrey

The other day, Stephen raised the blinds but forgot to tuck away the pulls. I heard Audrey chewing on the knob and reminded Stephen of the need to displace the pulls. Here’s what happened.

Stephen: You know, you could have handled that better.

Pam: What are you talking about?

Stephen: The blind pulls. What you should have done was move the pulls yourself. You should also move them any time I forget in the future. Eventually I’ll notice what you’re doing and I’ll feel guilty. Then I’ll learn my lesson and start doing it myself.

I paused, initially thinking he was serious. Then I realized it didn’t matter whether he was or not and I burst out laughing, thus marking the end of the conversation.

BTW – he took care of the pulls himself.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,



The Salt Rock

My dad’s birthday was yesterday. He would have been 88 years old. He was a great father leaving me with only positive memories.

He spent his career working in the oil fields. The work was both physically and mentally demanding. He was often gone for days or weeks at a time but when he was home, my sister and I were the center of his attention.

My dad and one of his oil rigs

While drilling, they would take core samples and sometimes my dad would bring home chunks of salt rock for his little girls. When I was in grade school, I would take my rock to Show and Tell, instructing the kids not to lick it as they passed it around. Of course the temptation was too great and almost everyone took a taste. The salt rock was a special connection to my dad.

Salt rock

While visiting my sister this summer, I commented that I no longer had a salt rock. She discovered that she had two and gave me one. When Stephen saw it, he said it explained a lot. He thinks I took too many licks as a kid which resulted in my profanity (salty language) spewed toward other drivers. There may be some truth to that.

I’m thrilled to have this small piece of history back in my life. Although my dad’s no longer around, I have this precious gift as a reminder of our deep abiding connection binding us together forever.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,



Visit With Vivian 2018

I recently spent a week with Vivian, my friend of more than 30 years. Earlier this year she moved into a new house, so I went to help her with some of the finishing touches. I also went to meet her two new cats. I had already met the other three.

Vivian’s beautiful home has a finished, walk-out basement that she doesn’t use, so I had an entire floor to myself. Well, almost. I woke up to this every morning.

Honor and Handsome

Additionally, I had to share my bathroom.


Vivian thought of everything, including my private media center.

This was all mine!

However, I never used it because it seemed too difficult, what with three times as many remotes as devices.

Six remotes for a TV and a DVD player (which wasn’t plugged in).

One of the projects we worked on was assembling a lamp. Everything had to be put together, including the shade – otherwise how would it all fit in its tiny box?

The entire lamp was packed into this little box

Although most of our focus was on the house, Vivian’s car required a little work, too. A greasy cable was dangling from her door frame so she fixed it with duct tape.

Duct tape saved Vivian’s hair from a greasy cable

At the end of every busy day, we made time to enjoy the finer things in life.

Hilly forced us to relax

I was reminded during my visit how amazing it is that Vivian and I started out as friends and over time became family.

We’re like the mafia – in for life

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,


Our First Christmas With Max

We adopted Max the end of March, a beautiful four year old Italian Greyhound. He’s a southern boy from Kentucky and has not adapted well to the cold weather. Since he’s from the south, he’s never had to wear clothes to keep warm, so every time we dress him, he refuses to move. Therefore, it was relatively easy to get these pictures of Max dressed up for the holidays. Enjoy – I guarantee Max didn’t!

This is how Santa would look if he was an Italian Greyhound

With a beard…

Max is secure enough in his masculinity to don a Christmas tree outfit that looks like a dress

Don’t worry Max, we won’t ever mount your head.

A bunny sweater that looks suspiciously like a deer.

Santa’s little helper.

I would like to thank Max for his sacrifice. He was (and is) a good boy.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,



Audrey Rose

Surrogacy is all the rage in Hollywood. Why ruin your own body when you can ruin someone else’s instead, right? The logic made sense to Stephen and I, so we also went with a surrogate. The only difference is that we didn’t use our own DNA to make the baby. We used her’s.

Mom Ginger and her pups

It was a surprise when Ginger gave birth to one gray and the rest black/white puppies. Our new baby looked like this.

Audrey at 4 days

It was fun watching her change as she grew.

Audrey at 7 days

Audrey at 17 days

Audrey at 25 days

Audrey at 39 days

Audrey at 10 weeks, 4 pounds

When we finally met her, Audrey was up to 6 pounds.

Audrey at 4 months, 6 pounds

She’s been an absolute joy to have around and gets along great with her siblings.

Mia (L), Max & Audrey

This week we started puppy training beginning with an orientation. After only one hour I now sit on command! I can only imagine what Audrey will learn!

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,



Holiday Meal

When family and friends gather together, there’s usually a meal involved – especially around the holidays. Although I’m known for not cooking, I used to prepare an annual holiday feast for Stephen and I to share with a friend.

The first two years everything went off without a hitch.  Stephen prepped the turkey and placed it in a baking bag because I refused to touch the raw bird. However, I did everything else – baked the turkey and prepared the rest of the meal. The fragrant smell of home cooked food flooded the house, inspiring warm, happy feelings.

The third (and last) year was a disaster. When I put the turkey in the oven I accidentally set the temperature to 125. A few hours passed before we noticed there was no aroma coming from the kitchen. The problem was corrected and we eventually ate, but everyone accused me of trying to kill them with tainted meat.

Although I stopped cooking, other people choose to continue the tradition. A friend was dreading the work associated with preparing a meal for a large group of people. She decided that instead of cooking one 20 pound turkey, she’d make her chore easier by cooking two 10 pounders. Hmmm…

This holiday season I hope you’re surrounded by people you love with a belly that’s satiated with fully cooked food.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,


My real live bird in a bag

My real live bird in a bag


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