Posts tagged ‘farce’
Last week, Stephen was home sick for several days. He spent the majority of his time unconscious – asleep in bed – so he was very low maintenance. Fortunately for me, he had the flu and not a cold. In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, the video below illustrates my concerns perfectly.
Warning: This video contains graphic information and is thus intended for mature audiences only. Viewer discretion is advised.
May the farce be with you!
*I wrote the caption myself. Any similarity to words spoken by Donald Trump or others is purely coincidental.
Credits: Photo taken outside the Republican National Convention by Nathaniel Welch/REDUX
I love the pictures NASA has been sharing since launching the Rover Curiosity to Mars and Dawn Spacecraft to the dwarf planet Ceres.
Being transported to other worlds fuels the thirst for information about the big question of whether we are alone in the universe.
The most famous “alien” sighting took place in Roswell, New Mexico. Of course the supposed space ship was later debunked as being a simple weather balloon.
Sightings of mysterious lights in the sky have also been exposed as flares, reflections or experimental aircraft.
Given our history, it’s no surprise that the latest findings on Mars and Ceres are reigniting our wonder of what – or who – is out there.
Take a look at recent NASA photos.
The Mars pyramid is estimated to be the size of a car. Some people wonder whether more of the structure is buried under the dirt.
The Ceres pyramid is thought to be three miles high. We’ll know more when Dawn get’s closer to the planet.
The current theory is that both off-world pyramids were created by wind.
My friend Vivian visited Egypt and she’s adamant that Earth pyramids were not formed by wind (or aliens).
As if the pyramids weren’t enough to get our neurons sparking, scientists have been puzzling over a series of unexplained lights in a crater on Ceres.
Of course they aren’t from a city or spaceship, that explanation is just too far fetched. The thought is they may be from reflective ice or salt.
I suspect they’re reflections from weather balloons that measured the force of the wind that created that perfectly formed pyramid. What do you think?
May the farce be with you!
Your IFF and Psy-Ficologist,
Dear Santa –
I normally don’t write to you but I’ve reached my limit. Every year is the same thing – 11 months of a manageable schedule followed by several hectic weeks of unreasonable demands culminating in a night that requires 11 months to recover.
The time has come for us to change our culture.
If I were to ask for something tangible for Christmas, I’d put a Fitbit on my list so I could monitor my fitness level. The request would be a waste because I know that any progress I would make throughout the year would be lost during the Christmas season, sitting for prolonged periods of time listening to children convey their Christmas desires.
I’d also like a membership to Weight Watchers so I can reach and maintain a healthy weight. This would reduce our health care costs and ensure my ability to meet Christmas demands long into the future.
However, any progress I would make during the year would be lost during the intense period of weight gain. I know the drill: “Eat, Santa, Eat”. “The kids expect a fat Santa.” It’s all about what the customer wants.
Have you ever thought about leading by example? Changing customer expectations?
Maybe we should start presenting a healthy Santa – show the kids Santa doesn’t have to be overweight. That in fact, a slender Santa is MORE jolly than one who’s round little belly shakes like a bowl full of jelly when he laughs. I think the combination of extreme work schedule and rapid weight gain sends the wrong message completely.
As long as I’m expressing my concerns, I feel it’s my duty to bring up my work conditions. Specifically, I’m referring to smoking – an extremely dangerous habit. Of course I don’t smoke cigarettes but my work exposes me to massive amounts of second hand smoke every year. I suggest rather than going down the chimney, I start using a door or window.
Face it – we’re cooking a recipe for disaster when we combine extreme work, weight gain and smoking. It’s almost like you’re trying to kill me. Personally, I don’t think a replacement would be easy to find.
My other complaint is your requirement that I eat milk and cookies set out by the families whose homes I visit. I’ve been lactose intolerant for years and now with my recently acquired gluten allergy, I’m barely able to move by the time I finish my shift. One of these days I won’t make it around the world in one night. What will happen then?
You know I’ve been good, Santa, and you know that my requests are all reasonable. We can easily implement these changes with a wellness program along with a commitment from you to stick with it.
Please know that I remain committed to meeting with all the children of the world, flying the sleigh and delivering gifts – assuming I don’t keel over from a massive coronary or just plain exhaustion. The kids have been good this year and I don’t want to let them down.
Until I hear otherwise, I’ll continue to eat.
Ho, Ho, Ho and Merry Christmas.
May the farce be with you!