True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

Posts tagged ‘forgetfulness’

Reminder Rights

I used to have a mind like a steel trap. Everything that went in stayed. I could consistently find information and pull it out. As I’ve gotten older, that steel trap has rusted, developing defects. The flaws keep expanding. Now when something goes in, there’s a good chance it will fall out or get caught in a rusty crevice, just out of reach.

In support of all people who experience this unfortunate side effect of aging, I’ve come up with our Reminder Rights. Feel free to give a copy of these rights to anyone who bugs you for forgetting.

  • I have the right to forget without being accused of not listening.
  • I have the right to forget without others becoming frustrated with me.
  • Anything I forget can and will be lost until and unless it’s found.
  • I have the right to lose my keys, glasses and other personal items.
  • I have the right to forget names, appointments and other memories I have held in the past.
  • If I cannot remember, others may remind or recall for me unless it gets on my nerves; at which point they must stop.
  • These are my rights to which I am entitled.
  • You must accept these rights as they have been explained to you.

What were we talking about?

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

Note: Pendant available from cafepress

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Original Lyrics To Auld Lang Syne

Should auld acquaintance be forgot

And never brought to mind

Because my memory is shot

The words I cannot find.

Where are my keys, my glasses too

Without them I am blind.

Perhaps a shot of Maker’s Mark

Will help me to unwind.

For auld lang syne, my dear

For auld lang syne,

The years go by so very fast

Feels like someone’s stolen time.

Once I relax I hope my brain

Will sort of realign,

Then all the friends that I forgot

Will clearly come to mind.

For auld lang syne, my dear

For auld lang syne,

What were the words I thought to pen

They’ve now escaped my mind.

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May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

happy-new-year

The Blond Effect

Yesterday morning I woke up in a panic.

I realized that I had forgotten to add a couple of appointments to my calendar. I rushed downstairs to look at the appointment cards and they were nowhere to be found.

Frantically searching my desk, I located them and quickly discovered I had already added them.

As I was recovering from my ordeal, I started to whine.

Me: This just isn’t me. I don’t misplace stuff. My mind used to be like a steel trap. When these things happen, I worry that I’m losing my memory.

Stephen: You don’t have anything to worry about. You’re becoming just like everyone else. In fact, you’re becoming the woman of my dreams.

Me: You realize that if you’re wrong, I will be your burden to carry.

Stephen: If things don’t get better, I’ll just bleach your hair blond. Then you’ll think you’re a genius!

Stephen always knows the right thing to say.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

Wow - I can remember everything now. I just don't understand very much.

Wow – I can remember everything now. I just don’t understand very much.

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