True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

Posts tagged ‘Humor’

IC You

Stephen is an award-winning scientist. Really – that’s him, with his award.

Stephen with his award

As you might imagine, I’m a strong proponent of science and was initially dismayed by news of government threats. Based on new information, I fear the government may be onto something. One of the current most popular apocalyptic theories suggests that zombies will end the world. But maybe, just maybe, the apocalypse will start within the very heart of science.

Being an award-winning scientist, Stephen works in a state of the art lab with top of the line equipment. One day he came home from work touting his new Ion Chromatograph Unit (ICU).

Ion Chromatograph Units (ICUs) – very smart machines

The ICU will take a sample and separate, identify and quantify the contents. What used to take hours of labor is now done in short order by a very smart machine. Stephen described it as magic – and that’s what set off my suspicions. What’s to say the ICU can’t combine or create things, especially since there’s two of them hooked up to the same computer. I just know they’re plotting. Any machine that can perform magic, like the ICU, is certainly capable of more sinister acts. I suspect Stephen’s new machine was behind WannaCry – last week’s computer hacks. Sure, North Korea got the blame, but who’s to say the ICU – which is hooked up to a computer – couldn’t generate and disseminate the virus AND blame it on another country. Heck, if it can create a computer virus, why not a human virus, too?

After working with the ICU for a few weeks, Stephen looked like this.

Stephen looked like this after working with his ICU

Maybe science created zombies, too.

Shh… Put your ear to your computer. I think I hear Stephen’s machine whispering “I see you!”

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,




Arm pits are not as popular as fire pits because it’s so hard to find parts

Happy Mother’s Day



My Spam folder is full

My Spam folder is full

The Importance of Accurate Signage

I don’t cook but because I have a flexible schedule, I do most of the grocery shopping. This week, my assignment included snow peas. I had purchased them before, so I knew exactly where to find them in the store. Much to my disappointment, there was only one remaining in the bin. I guess whoever bought the batch didn’t want to take the last one.

The last lonely snow pea

There were plenty of sugar snap peas in the adjacent bin, but sugar snap peas weren’t on my list.

I went over to the prepackaged vegetables and found a bag of sugar snap peas which looked exactly like the snow peas in the open bin. I even took the bag over to compare – thank goodness that kind person left the last one. It was surprising the bag was mismarked.

I wasn’t sure I should chance buying the wrong pea, so I walked to the frozen section and found the same thing. Feeling the bag, it was clear that it contained snow peas. Once again, it was strange the bag wasn’t labeled correctly.

Frozen Bag

I ended up buying the fresh bag and when I got home, I looked up the difference between sugar snap peas and snow peas. Apparently the people working in produce at the supermarket don’t know the difference because they were the ones who labeled them wrong.

These are really sugar snap peas

At the time I was shopping, my pea brain couldn’t comprehend the grocer could be wrong even though all evidence pointed in their direction. Now that I’ve done my homework, I finally have peas of mind… and so can you.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,



Happy Star Wars Day/Cinco De Mayo

This Little Doggy (An Updated Nursery Rhyme)

This little doggy went to market.

She likes to get all dressed up to go shopping in high-end stores, buying anything she wants.


This little doggy stayed home.

He slept. He’s an old man. Sleeping is one of his favorite things.


This little doggy would love to have roast beef, chicken, turkey, pork, pasta, pizza…

He’ll eat almost anything if given the chance.


This little doggy had none. Sadly, his person restricts his dietary intake.

On the bright side – he maintains his svelte figure by eating right plus 4-6 hours of vigorous exercise a day.


These little doggies went wee wee wee all the way home.

Because they’re so happy to be together.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,


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