True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

Posts tagged ‘Humor’

Shellfish

Johnny never shared his toys. He always made Billy cry. He was shellfish.

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Mulberry Whine

Our first dog was a little Italian Greyhound we named Tony. Italian Greyhounds (IGs) look like big Greyhounds you left in the dryer too long. Although IGs don’t race, they love to run. Fortunately, we had a fenced back yard so Tony could run to his heart’s delight.

One day after running in the yard, I noticed spots on the back of Tony’s legs. We had a Mulberry tree so I thought the spots were stains and tried to wash them off. After nearly rubbing Tony’s skin raw, I realized they weren’t stains at all. They were freckles and freckles don’t wash off.

Freckles on Tony’s legs

Over the years we’ve been owned by a total of six IGs, including Tony. Dogs 2 – 5 were rescues and adopted as adults. This summer, we broke the mold and went to a breeder for a puppy – Audrey. I guess in tribute to Tony, our only other puppy, I made a mistake akin to the freckle debacle.

While examining Audrey, I noticed something in her nose. Thinking it was a bird feather (we have birds in the house), I tried to pick it out of her nostril. Each attempt was unsuccessful. Upon closer examination, I realized that one of herĀ  nostrils was pink. I no longer pick her nose.

Audrey’s pink nostril

Having a puppy is an awesome experience as is adopting an adult dog. Remember these important lessons, some stains don’t come out and pick your noses with care.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

True Meaning of New Year’s Resolution

 

Whew, glad that’s over!

Photo credit: Angus & Phil

The End

I have always had a thutt – a lack of distinction between the thigh and butt. In other words, a flat butt. Since I’ve been working out, I think that maybe, just perhaps, my thutt has finally developed into two distinct body parts. But now I’m not so sure. See for yourself.

Stephen was hugging me with his hands on my backside. Our conversation went like this:

Stephen: Wow – you have a nice round birthday cake.

Pam: No I don’t, I have a thutt.

Stephen: Seriously, it’s really round.

Pam: You’re feeling my thighs.

Following a long pause, Stephen felt around to see if I was right. I felt like the thutt of my own joke.

After years of working out, I still think my thutt might have gotten a little rounder, butt in the end it doesn’t really matter.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

 

Unrealistic New Year’s Resolution

Photo credit: NobleWorks Cards

Failed New Year’s Resolutions

Post-Christmas Elimination

Photo credit: NobleWorks Cards

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