True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

Posts tagged ‘Max’

Broken Nose

“Hallelujah! I can breathe through both nostrils! It’s a miracle! I am sooooooo lucky! Praise the dog!”

I’m sure I said this or something similar as I lay on the floor writhing in pain after Max, my Italian Greyhound, broke my nose. Coming home from a brief outing, Max was excited to see me and hit his head, with the force of a baseball, on my sniffer.

Max hit me harder than this

I heard the crack, felt intense, blinding pain, fell onto the floor, shouted words of praise to Max, and curled into a fetal position with my hands covering my face waiting for the pain to pass.

This wasn’t the first time I had broken my nose but I hope it’s the last. I was a teenager the first time I split my snout. In a car with a group of friends, we decided to do a Chinese fire drill – a prank in which passengers get out of a stopped car, circle it and return to their seats. My nose broke when I ran into a friend’s shoulder. Everyone in the car ran the wrong direction except me .

My second major break occurred during a major break in my acting career. After being cast as the princess in “The Frog Princess”, I tried to walk through a glass window I had mistaken for an open doorway. Fortunately for the production, I spent the majority of the play inside a frog head.

No one could tell my nose was broken

No longer able breathe through my nose, I underwent surgery to repair the damage. As I was healing, I sneezed and jammed my schnoz into Stephen’s shoulder. My doctor was less than pleased by my inability to protect his work but at least I could still breathe out of one nostril…until Max. The break I had sustained all those years ago was fixed by one quick dog head to the face.

Max isn’t as innocent as he looks

I love my little Max but I don’t want my nose broken again because I like airflow through both nostrils so I’m very careful around him now.

It’s harder to cuddle with the helmet

It was a lucky day when we adopted Max and luckier still when he performed a septoplasty on me without an anesthetic.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

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Chew On This

I have two little dogs – 17 and 11 pounds. When shopping for treats, I discovered large flat chews that are almost as big as my dogs.

 

Max can barely carry the treat but he loves it

I started with a pack of three because I wasn’t sure how they would respond. Our plan was to cut them into smaller pieces but Mia and Max found the big ones irresistible. Even though they each had their own, I quickly discovered they always wanted the same one.

Even with multiple treats, one chew is always better and everybody wants it

Observing this behavior, it seems that dogs are a lot like people. The grass is always greener (aka the other chew always tastes better). And, we don’t always appreciate what we have.

Based on empirical evidence (my observation), both chews are fantastic. One doesn’t taste better than another so enjoy what you were given. Hmm, I think these sage words apply to us as well. Just remember – don’t bite off more than you can chew.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

This Little Doggy (An Updated Nursery Rhyme)

This little doggy went to market.

She likes to get all dressed up to go shopping in high-end stores, buying anything she wants.

 

This little doggy stayed home.

He slept. He’s an old man. Sleeping is one of his favorite things.

 

This little doggy would love to have roast beef, chicken, turkey, pork, pasta, pizza…

He’ll eat almost anything if given the chance.

 

This little doggy had none. Sadly, his person restricts his dietary intake.

On the bright side – he maintains his svelte figure by eating right plus 4-6 hours of vigorous exercise a day.

 

These little doggies went wee wee wee all the way home.

Because they’re so happy to be together.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

Easter Poem

I found these eggs by my front door, brought by the Easter Bunny.

When I looked inside the eggs, I laughed at something funny.

One egg, it was still unhatched, one had a dinosaur,

Stephen filled the other egg which caused my laugh to roar.

After fully hatching, I brought Stephen home.

As soon as he escaped the egg, the man began to roam.

He brought home many creatures, the dogs I liked the best.

They put up with all kinds of stuff, even getting dressed.

Life is full of ups and downs, cloudy days and sunny.

I love the times you don’t expect, like these three Easter Bunnies.

I find every day is a complete and total treasure.

I hope your days are filled with joy and laughter beyond measure.

Oops, We Did It Again

This has been an eventful week in my household. Last weekend, Stephen (human), Dewey, Mia (Italian Greyhounds), and I drove 130 miles to meet Max, a 3-year old Italian Greyhound.

Max – on the rescue website

Dewey is 14 and Mia, 13 (both from the same rescue organization as Max). We had been thinking of adding a young dog to our pack family who had the potential of becoming a therapy dog and we found that in Max. He came home with us. On the drive home, Max’s foster mom sent me this picture.

From Max’s foster mom

As excited as we were to adopt Max, it was also stressful. We weren’t sure how Max would fit in and whether the other dogs would accept him.

Max and Stephen on our first night home

Mia liked Max right away but Dewey pretended that Max wasn’t there.

Two buds

On our first full day together, Max wanted to be on my lap and I found I couldn’t get anything done so I improvised, creating a situation where Max could be with me but where I didn’t have to hold him with my arms.

Max is in the bag. I’m glad he only weighs 11 pounds.

Day 5 Max was still clinging to me…

Sweet little Max

and Dewey finally acknowledged his existence. I think everything is going to turn out fine!

At the end of Max’s 6th day

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

 

 

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