True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

Posts tagged ‘poem’

Hey Boobs

I recently enjoyed the company of my dear friend and sister, Linda. During her trip to visit me, we went to Tina’s Closet to buy new bras. This song, is for Linda and Tina – to be sung to the tune of Hey Jude.

Hey Boobs, you look so bad

Get a new bra to make it better

The sagging and drooping hap’ning today

Will be uplifted so you look better

Hey Boobs, don’t be afraid

Bra shopping cannot be made easier

Tina measures your size then she fetches

Only bras that fit so you look better

And anytime you feel some pain

Tina refrains

And offers a different fitting brassier

For well you know that it’s a fool

Whose boobs aren’t cool

Which makes your body hurt and look older

Bra-bra-bra, bra, bra

Bra-bra-bra, bra

New bra, won’t let me down

I have found you, you lift me higher

Remember you sit right next to my heart

Now you can start to make me better

So I breathe out and I breathe in

Hey bra, begin

My clothes look and fit the way they’re s’posed to

And don’t I know my look’s from you

Hey bra, you’ll do

When I am fitted by Tina’s Closet

Bra-bra-bra, bra, bra

Bra-bra-bra, bra, yeah

Hey Boobs, you look so grand

Got a new bra now I look better

I’m lifted, the fit and look are so great

The movement I need rests right on my shoulder

My bra is better better better better, ah!

Bra-bra-bra, bra, bra-bra-bra, bra, hey bra

Bra-bra-bra, bra, yeah bra

Bra-bra-bra, bra, bra-bra-bra, bra, hey bra

Bra-bra-bra, bra, yeah bra

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

St. Patty’s Day Poem

St. Patty’s day some years ago

The ground was covered up with snow.

Leprechauns still braved the cold

In searching for that pot of gold.

They got so chilled they went inside

And ordered beer. They did imbibe,

Then ordered dinner at the pub.

Those hungry boys, they needed grub.

And as they ate, they drank some more

Until they fell upon the floor.

Forgotten were the coins of gold

More treasured now, the stories told

And friendships made throughout the years.

Good food, good friends and lots of beers.

Image from Nobleworks Cards

 

Reindeer Limmerick

There once was a reindeer named Joe

Who hated the cold and the snow

He moved down to Bahama

With his elderly gramma

Where he married a regular doe

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

Halloween Poem 2018

On Halloween my mind goes wild

With thoughts from my inner child

The ghastly pair that once stood guard

Is now displayed in this front yard

The dragon full of spit and fire


Just sits atop a lonely wire

The witch that cast a spell and hex

Is resting on my neighbor’s deck

The crow that beckoned at my door

No longer caws his “nevermore”

Guardin’ of Eatin’ – A Poem

Now I’m lame in what I eat

There is no steak, there’s hardly meat

I’m watching carbs and sugars, too

I‘m missing pie and fats are few

I’m eating light, oh – woe is me

I’m stuck with fish and broccoli

Most fats are bad ‘cept Omega 3

So I’ll chow down on mercury

[Poem by Stephen]

Easter Fool’s Day

Easter falls on April Fool’s

Where egg hunts led, now pranksters rule

The bunny dons a Santa suit

Baskets filled with Christmas loot

Chocolate puppies in the stores

Peeps that look like tiny boars

Nothing beats what next you’ll see

The stores displaying Christmas trees

It’s funny but kinda mean at the same time

Image from NobleWorks Cars

Winter’sBack

To be sung to the tune of SexyBack

I hate that Winter’s back (yuck)

Them other drivers don’t know how to act (yeah)

Get off the road, don’t want to hit your back (yeah)

Get off the road and I’ll pick up the slack (yeah)

[Take it to the bridge]

Dirty snow

You see these shovels, baby

Apropos

The cold’s okay but I don’t like the snow

It’s hard to shovel even when you blow

[Take it to the chorus]

Be gone snow (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Bring back spring (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Be gone snow (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Bring back spring (go ‘head, be gone with it)

You see what you’re shoveling (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Lay down the salt (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Snow makes me mad (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Be gone snow (go ‘head, be gone with it)

And get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone

Repeat above

You ready?

I’m ready!

I’m ready!

I hate that Winter’s back (yuck)

Them other drivers don’t know how to act (yeah)

Get off the road, don’t want to hit your back (yeah)

Get off the road and I’ll pick up the slack (yeah)

[Take it to the chorus]

Be gone snow (go ‘head, be gone with it

Bring back spring (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Be gone snow (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Bring back spring (go ‘head, be gone with it)

You see what you’re shoveling (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Lay down the salt (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Snow makes me mad (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Be gone snow (go ‘head, be gone with it)

And get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone

You ready?

Yes

I’m ready!

Yes!

Yes!

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The video, in case you want to sing along.

 

 

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