True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

Posts tagged ‘poem’

Halloween Poem 2018

On Halloween my mind goes wild

With thoughts from my inner child

The ghastly pair that once stood guard

Is now displayed in this front yard

The dragon full of spit and fire


Just sits atop a lonely wire

The witch that cast a spell and hex

Is resting on my neighbor’s deck

The crow that beckoned at my door

No longer caws his “nevermore”

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Guardin’ of Eatin’ – A Poem

Now I’m lame in what I eat

There is no steak, there’s hardly meat

I’m watching carbs and sugars, too

I‘m missing pie and fats are few

I’m eating light, oh – woe is me

I’m stuck with fish and broccoli

Most fats are bad ‘cept Omega 3

So I’ll chow down on mercury

[Poem by Stephen]

Easter Fool’s Day

Easter falls on April Fool’s

Where egg hunts led, now pranksters rule

The bunny dons a Santa suit

Baskets filled with Christmas loot

Chocolate puppies in the stores

Peeps that look like tiny boars

Nothing beats what next you’ll see

The stores displaying Christmas trees

It’s funny but kinda mean at the same time

Image from NobleWorks Cars

Winter’sBack

To be sung to the tune of SexyBack

I hate that Winter’s back (yuck)

Them other drivers don’t know how to act (yeah)

Get off the road, don’t want to hit your back (yeah)

Get off the road and I’ll pick up the slack (yeah)

[Take it to the bridge]

Dirty snow

You see these shovels, baby

Apropos

The cold’s okay but I don’t like the snow

It’s hard to shovel even when you blow

[Take it to the chorus]

Be gone snow (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Bring back spring (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Be gone snow (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Bring back spring (go ‘head, be gone with it)

You see what you’re shoveling (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Lay down the salt (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Snow makes me mad (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Be gone snow (go ‘head, be gone with it)

And get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone

Repeat above

You ready?

I’m ready!

I’m ready!

I hate that Winter’s back (yuck)

Them other drivers don’t know how to act (yeah)

Get off the road, don’t want to hit your back (yeah)

Get off the road and I’ll pick up the slack (yeah)

[Take it to the chorus]

Be gone snow (go ‘head, be gone with it

Bring back spring (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Be gone snow (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Bring back spring (go ‘head, be gone with it)

You see what you’re shoveling (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Lay down the salt (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Snow makes me mad (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Be gone snow (go ‘head, be gone with it)

And get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone (go ‘head, be gone with it)

Get the winter gone

You ready?

Yes

I’m ready!

Yes!

Yes!

=====================

The video, in case you want to sing along.

 

 

The Week Before Christmas – A Poem

‘Twas the week before Christmas, when all through the house

My mother was calling my poor dad a louse.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

But the presents weren’t wrapped, some weren’t even there.

 

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

My parents were frazzled, too much in their heads.

Mamma was shopping online for more crap,

And daddy was holding a dog in his lap.

 

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

Dad sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.

Away to the window Mom flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

 

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,

When what to their wondering eyes should appear,

But raccoons in the garbage looking for beer.

 

With a little masked face, so lively and quick,

They knew in a moment it wasn’t St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles his claws and hands came,

His throwing the garbage made my parents insane.

 

My mom shouted loudly “I’ve had it this Christmas.”

My dad yelled right back – “You’re much too ambitious.

Go online right this minute, we’ll buy gift cards for all.

They can buy what they want, we’ll skip lines at the mall!”

 

“You don’t think we’re cheating?” Mom asked as she bristled.

“I don’t think so at all” Dad proclaimed with dismissal.

Then I heard them exclaim as they turned out the lights.

Happy Christmas to us, it will all be alright!

Dog Halloween Poem

As dusk arrives on Halloween,

the puppies run, the kiddies scream

with delight.

They’ve never seen

these costumes on the dogs.

Princess,

pirates,

skeleton,

yellow submarine,

quarterbark & cheerleader,

cowboy dressed in jeans.

Buns with a real dog inside,

a skunk that’s safe – no need to hide

A family photo filled with pride,

 

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

 

 

This Little Doggy (An Updated Nursery Rhyme)

This little doggy went to market.

She likes to get all dressed up to go shopping in high-end stores, buying anything she wants.

 

This little doggy stayed home.

He slept. He’s an old man. Sleeping is one of his favorite things.

 

This little doggy would love to have roast beef, chicken, turkey, pork, pasta, pizza…

He’ll eat almost anything if given the chance.

 

This little doggy had none. Sadly, his person restricts his dietary intake.

On the bright side – he maintains his svelte figure by eating right plus 4-6 hours of vigorous exercise a day.

 

These little doggies went wee wee wee all the way home.

Because they’re so happy to be together.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

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