True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

Posts tagged ‘retirement’


After teaching second grade for 44 years, Diana, my sister is retiring. Even though she wants to retire, it’s difficult for her to leave her kids. In looking for a retirement card, I didn’t want something sentimental to make her cry, I wanted to make her laugh. After an extensive search, I found an irreverent online card retailer:¬†where I found the perfect card.

It made her laugh

Funny enough, she had recently encountered a situation similar to the card where a little kid wanted his damn whatever. Diana’s had many stories over the years. Another that struck a cord with me was when one student tattled on another saying he gave her the finger. When Diana investigated, the offender said his action was okay because he used his ring finger instead of his middle finger. A perfect example of the experiences she’s going to miss when school starts next fall.

Retirement is an exciting (although sometimes distressing) transition representing a new chapter in life. The card I gave Diana was blank inside. My message read: “Happy Retirement – don’t fuck it up.” That goes for all of us – enjoy every day. Embrace each new adventure.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,


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