True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

Posts tagged ‘spring’


Spring Forward


Buds from the elusive coil tree are a sure sign of Spring

Saving Daylight Time – A Poem

I looked outside my window

And saw to my delight

The strangest glow adorn the sky.

I’ve heard it’s called sunlight.

The yellow ball is rarely seen

In my neck of the woods

It’s mostly gray and often rains

Throughout my neighborhoods.

That’s why I got excited

When I heard the day was here

To switch to daylight savings time

Which means that spring is near.

As clocks advance upon first glance

Sun dissipates the gloom.

The longer days and daylight saves

Will brighten up my room.

Spring is but a leap away

From dreary skies and dismal days,

Flowers’ bouquet, their grand display

Will shake me from this cloudy haze.

Perhaps if time did not change

Then winter might extend its range.

So change the time, let’s summon spring

And all the joy that it will bring.


Another sign of spring


Spring Activities

Just because the weather’s getting nice, you won’t see me out riding a bicycle. The last time I rode my bike, turning was harrowing, I tipped over every time I stopped, and I flipped over completely when Stephen (who was out in front) stopped to check on me. When I was a kid, I could ride like the wind with no protective gear whatsoever. Now I need protective covering over my entire body just to sit on a bicycle.

It wasn’t always this way. Not that many years (okay, quite a few), Stephen and I would ride our bikes with no protective gear and only occasional injuries (me, yes, it was invariably me). We even made it a family affair. Stephen built a small trailer out of a dog crate and attached it to the back of his bike for our dog, Tony. Then he strapped a small, homemade cage on top of the dog trailer for our parrot Amy.

I have no idea why Stephen is dressed so formally for bike riding

I have no idea why Stephen is dressed so formally for bike riding

For the safety of everyone, the animals never trailed my bike – only Stephen’s. Amy loved the rides, reverting back to her first word “hello” for the duration of the outing. Tony was another story – he would have rather run along side us versus being trapped in a little cage.

These days, we take the dogs for walks – no protective gear needed. Amy stays indoors where she feels safer.

Hope you enjoy your Spring!

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,


An Ode to Mother Fricking Nature

Third worst in written history

This was the worst winter to me

With 80 inches plus of snow

And frigid temps below zero

So happy when the springtime came

With sunny days and warmth again

But no such luck – the skies are gray

And the cold temps won’t go away

What more can Mother Nature bring?

Wake up Bitch – it’s fricking spring!


First Day of Spring

First Day of Spring

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,


Fractured Cliché #50

Fractured Cliché: Party ‘till the hogs come home

Correct Cliché: Party ‘till the cows come home

Today is Groundhog Day – when a magically imbued rodent predicts the weather. This morning, Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow, foretelling six more weeks of winter. If he hadn’t, it would have meant an early spring.

When I was growing up in northern North Dakota, we didn’t care whether or not Phil saw his shadow because either prediction was good news. An early spring or 6 more weeks of winter? Both meant our winter would be cut short.

In some circles, the mood is a little sad today. With all eyes focused on Punxsutawney Phil, a lot of the country has forgotten about a little game called football. For the first time ever, the Super Bowl, the coup de grâce of the season, is being trumped by Groundhog Day.

Whatever your focus, find a reason to celebrate – for shadows, sports, commercials, drinks or food. Party till the pigskin comes home.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,


If Punxsutawney Phil played football

If Punxsutawney Phil played football

Fractured Cliché #38

Fractured Cliché: Bone cracking cold

Correct Cliché: Bone chilling cold

For the first time in history, Punxsutawney Phil is being held accountable for wrongly predicting an early Spring when he failed to see his shadow on February 2.

Ohio Prosecuting Attorney Mike Gmoser claimed that Phil deliberately and purposefully misled the public. Gmoser threatened to issue an indictment charging Phil with a felony “against the peace and dignity of the state of Ohio”. If found guilty, the penalties would be severe. Oddly enough, Chuck, Phil’s counterpart in Ohio, has not been named as a co-conspirator.

Fortunately, Phil has his own attorney who vows to fight any extradition attempts by Ohio authorities.

In my opinion, Punxsutawney Phil has been wrongly accused. Groundhogs should not be held to higher standards than meteorologists. If weather forecasters were required to make accurate predictions, jails in every state would be overflowing.

It’s a well known fact that animals can predict weather, so it’s no surprise we turn to Punxsutawney Phil every year. Cows lie down before a storm, birds are quiet, and cats clean behind their ears before it rains.

In my household, we look to our dogs. They rarely see their shadow on Groundhog Day and in their case that tells us Spring’s a long way off.

It seems the only immediate hope for Spring is one in your step, hopefully not through snow.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,


Dewey didn't see his shadow on Groundhog Day signaling a late spring

Maybe Dewey didn’t see his shadow because he stayed in bed


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