True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

Posts tagged ‘spring’

Spring Activities

Just because the weather’s getting nice, you won’t see me out riding a bicycle. The last time I rode my bike, turning was harrowing, I tipped over every time I stopped, and I flipped over completely when Stephen (who was out in front) stopped to check on me. When I was a kid, I could ride like the wind with no protective gear whatsoever. Now I need protective covering over my entire body just to sit on a bicycle.

It wasn’t always this way. Not that many years (okay, quite a few), Stephen and I would ride our bikes with no protective gear and only occasional injuries (me, yes, it was invariably me). We even made it a family affair. Stephen built a small trailer out of a dog crate and attached it to the back of his bike for our dog, Tony. Then he strapped a small, homemade cage on top of the dog trailer for our parrot Amy.

I have no idea why Stephen is dressed so formally for bike riding

I have no idea why Stephen is dressed so formally for bike riding

For the safety of everyone, the animals never trailed my bike – only Stephen’s. Amy loved the rides, reverting back to her first word “hello” for the duration of the outing. Tony was another story – he would have rather run along side us versus being trapped in a little cage.

These days, we take the dogs for walks – no protective gear needed. Amy stays indoors where she feels safer.

Hope you enjoy your Spring!

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

An Ode to Mother Fricking Nature

Third worst in written history

This was the worst winter to me

With 80 inches plus of snow

And frigid temps below zero

So happy when the springtime came

With sunny days and warmth again

But no such luck – the skies are gray

And the cold temps won’t go away

What more can Mother Nature bring?

Wake up Bitch – it’s fricking spring!

 

First Day of Spring

First Day of Spring

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

Fractured Cliché #50

Fractured Cliché: Party ‘till the hogs come home

Correct Cliché: Party ‘till the cows come home

Today is Groundhog Day – when a magically imbued rodent predicts the weather. This morning, Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow, foretelling six more weeks of winter. If he hadn’t, it would have meant an early spring.

When I was growing up in northern North Dakota, we didn’t care whether or not Phil saw his shadow because either prediction was good news. An early spring or 6 more weeks of winter? Both meant our winter would be cut short.

In some circles, the mood is a little sad today. With all eyes focused on Punxsutawney Phil, a lot of the country has forgotten about a little game called football. For the first time ever, the Super Bowl, the coup de grâce of the season, is being trumped by Groundhog Day.

Whatever your focus, find a reason to celebrate – for shadows, sports, commercials, drinks or food. Party till the pigskin comes home.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

If Punxsutawney Phil played football

If Punxsutawney Phil played football

Fractured Cliché #38

Fractured Cliché: Bone cracking cold

Correct Cliché: Bone chilling cold

For the first time in history, Punxsutawney Phil is being held accountable for wrongly predicting an early Spring when he failed to see his shadow on February 2.

Ohio Prosecuting Attorney Mike Gmoser claimed that Phil deliberately and purposefully misled the public. Gmoser threatened to issue an indictment charging Phil with a felony “against the peace and dignity of the state of Ohio”. If found guilty, the penalties would be severe. Oddly enough, Chuck, Phil’s counterpart in Ohio, has not been named as a co-conspirator.

Fortunately, Phil has his own attorney who vows to fight any extradition attempts by Ohio authorities.

In my opinion, Punxsutawney Phil has been wrongly accused. Groundhogs should not be held to higher standards than meteorologists. If weather forecasters were required to make accurate predictions, jails in every state would be overflowing.

It’s a well known fact that animals can predict weather, so it’s no surprise we turn to Punxsutawney Phil every year. Cows lie down before a storm, birds are quiet, and cats clean behind their ears before it rains.

In my household, we look to our dogs. They rarely see their shadow on Groundhog Day and in their case that tells us Spring’s a long way off.

It seems the only immediate hope for Spring is one in your step, hopefully not through snow.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

Dewey didn't see his shadow on Groundhog Day signaling a late spring

Maybe Dewey didn’t see his shadow because he stayed in bed

 

50 Shades of Gray

I’m not a winter person. I miss the crisp, clean air of summer, the fragrant odor of flowers and freshly mowed grass, the sounds of birds singing in the morning, and of course, the warm temperatures. Every winter I ask myself why I don’t live in a warmer climate.

One aspect of winter that I’d never considered until recently is the absence of color. Upon returning from a warm winter getaway, a friend mentioned that she misses the colors associated with summer. When her plane was leaving Mexico, she looked out the window and saw 70 shades of blue, 30 shades of green, and splashes of red. However, as she was landing in Chicago, she only saw gray.

These pictures of the same scene vividly illustrate the point.

winter view

50 Shades of Gray

Go Green!

Go Green!

I long for colors and thankfully, Punxsutawney Phil predicted an early spring.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

Fractured Cliché #11

Fall is just around the corner. For me, summer went by way too fast and spring seems like a distant memory. As beautiful as fall is, I love spring and summer the most: the sounds of birds and cicadas, warm temperatures and sunshine, and smells of fresh air, rain and flowers. Spring brings the promise of new life and summer sustains it. The following fractured clichés are devoted to these beautiful seasons.

Fractured Cliché: Wake up and smell the roses

Correct Cliché: Wake up and smell the coffee

Fractured Cliché: Stop and smell the coffee

Correct Cliché: Stop and smell the roses

Technically, I really do wake up and smell the roses.  When the weather’s nice, I sleep with my windows open and the roses are directly outside.  There’s no excuse for the second fractured cliché though because I don’t drink coffee and therefore can rarely, if ever, stop and smell it.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

This Bud's for you

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