True, embellished and fictional stories for your amusertainment

Posts tagged ‘summer’

Summer Time

Summer Thyme, where the livin’ is easy

Corndogs

Corndogs on the grill are one of the best things about summer

How The Grinch Stole Summer

Twas the midst of the summer

And all through the town,

Children partied with Grinchy

They really got down.

He funded the shindigs

All on his own

Doing product endorsements

When he was alone.

He only endorsed the things he admired

For sponsors who made his bank account higher.

He may not have used the product himself

But when he endorsed it, it flew off the shelf.

His services were in such high demand

He barely kept up, could barely withstand

The energy needed to sell all this crap.

He soon became crabby when he missed his nap.

This is the way Grinch became a bad ass

All of the year, not just at Christmas.

A sampling of the Grinch's latest product endorsements

A sampling of the Grinch’s latest product endorsements

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

Winter is Nature’s Way of Saying “Up Yours”*

I hate winter but it’s inevitable, so I’m not going to fight it any longer. This year I’ve decided I’m going to like it.

These are a few of the things I appreciate the most.

1. Looking younger with nonsurgical face peels.

When I’m out in the cold long enough, my face freezes resulting in the eventual loss of the top layer of skin. Some people pay doctors big bucks for a face peel but nature will do the work for free.

2. The opportunity to eat more.

I can burn more calories in the winter. Shoveling snow, skating to the mailbox, and shivering all allow me to eat that much needed comfort food while maintaining a healthy weight.

3. Hiding that extra bulge.

Okay, so if my weight isn’t totally healthy, the bulky clothes will hide that unsightly bulge.

4.  The time change.

I relish the beginning of daylight savings time and one less hour of sleep. It’s invigorating and works to keep my brain healthy.

5.  Calming landscapes.

The beauty of monotonous snow along with cold, cloudy days over and over again calms the soul.

As much as I love winter, I also enjoy summer.

I most look forward to one of the first signs that summer’s just around the corner – when stores start putting up their Christmas displays.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

* Title quote by Robert Byrne

Mia in the summer

Mia staying warm in the summer

Mia in the winter

Mia staying warm in the winter

Fractured Cliché #11

Fall is just around the corner. For me, summer went by way too fast and spring seems like a distant memory. As beautiful as fall is, I love spring and summer the most: the sounds of birds and cicadas, warm temperatures and sunshine, and smells of fresh air, rain and flowers. Spring brings the promise of new life and summer sustains it. The following fractured clichés are devoted to these beautiful seasons.

Fractured Cliché: Wake up and smell the roses

Correct Cliché: Wake up and smell the coffee

Fractured Cliché: Stop and smell the coffee

Correct Cliché: Stop and smell the roses

Technically, I really do wake up and smell the roses.  When the weather’s nice, I sleep with my windows open and the roses are directly outside.  There’s no excuse for the second fractured cliché though because I don’t drink coffee and therefore can rarely, if ever, stop and smell it.

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,

Pam

This Bud's for you

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